(Closed) Post-Wedding Sadness

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m so saddened for you that you were disappointed on your special day; I know you probably put a lot of time and effort into that wedding to feel disappointed during and after.  Those people sound like the worst.  Try to console yourself by remembering that you still have the most important part and the point of the wedding: your spouse!  At the end of the day, you’re still married to your best friend and the love of your life, and I hope you’re loving married life! I’m sending lots of nice thoughts your way!

Post # 3
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t blame you for being sad.  I’m so sorry.  I am hearing more and more stories like this and I am wondering if it’s a generational thing….people are just more and more self-centered and lack basic understanding of etiquette.  From casual get-togethers to big affairs like weddings, I’ve been seeing the same trend.  And yet, when it’s their turn for something, they expect to be the center of attention.  Makes me sad for the future!

I hope the people who were there were able to make up for the jerks that didn’t show and you could still enjoy your day as much as possible.  Sorry again that you’re hurting.  

Post # 4
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
Cari1 : Wow, that is rude to rsvp “yes” and not attend. Did you send your invites out really early? 

Nonetheless, these are inconsiderate people and your are right to step back. Especially if you place them in a higher ranking than they place you. All relationships should be mutually valued and respected.  

Sorry this happened to you…

Post # 5
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Hi Bee,

I’m sorry that you are feeling this way after your wedding. It does seem very unusual for so many guests to not attend your wedding, particularly when they said they would. I find it to be very rude, even more so it being a wedding, which are pricey events that require a lot of planning and sacrifice. 

How did you invite your guests, though? Did you send them an invitation and requested an RSVP? Or was it more of a verbal invitation?

Post # 6
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
anothernewbee16 :  Definitely not a generational thing. I had a coworker (who had already RSVPed “yes” for herself and her husband) tell me the DAY BEFORE that she wasn’t coming because she “didn’t feel like it.” Well fuck you too lady! Said coworker was in her 50s. 

OP, I’m so sorry. I totally understand you being upset. You said you invited 170 but only 40 people came. Are you saying most of those people RSVPed no? Or they RVSPed yes and then no-showed I’ll admit that after what happened to me above, my relationship with that coworker totally changed. And before that I thought we were pretty close! 

Post # 7
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

UGH I’m SO sorry this happened to you. What assholes, honestly. But you know what? Those people proved to you where they should stand in YOUR life. Focus your love, your thoughts, your memories on the ones who did show up and wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Those people are your tribe, love on them hard and be grateful that only those who truly wanted to be there were lucky enough to witness your beautiful marriage. When you look back on your wedding in years to come you’ll be glad it was just your most beloved who were there. Sending you hugs xo

Post # 8
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

I too think this is a sign of the times – I invited 34 people to our engagement party and only 1/3 RSVP’d yes. Nowadays unfortunately it seems like everyone is always too busy and has something else going on  🙁

I think to avoid this kind of situation, I’ve seen families and bridal parties help out by bopping people on the head multiple times with reminder emails/phone calls/nudge text/slip ins…but regardless that SUCKS!!! That’s a humongous percentage, which is really strange.

I’m so so sorry, bee 🙁 These no-show people sound like they need a stern WTF? talking to. While it’s nice to celebrate with a small crowd who do care, it can also be weird to be in a space designed for 170 and have most of the tables empty… :/ Did you have to pay for 170 people? That would massively suck.

Post # 9
Member
1610 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I’m so sorry bee, that would make me so sad too! I’m shocked at all the people who no-showed! That is incredibly rude of them.

Try to focus on the good stuff, like the special moment where you married your DH 🙂 No one can take that amazing memory from you!

Post # 10
Member
731 posts
Busy bee

I always wonder if these people that do this have any idea of the cost and work involved in every invite. I can honestly say if I did manage to forget to go to something like this I’d not only give the couple a nice gift, but I’d cut them a check to try and cover what they lost from my carelesness.

I am really sorry this happened to you, IDK what goes on in peoples heads when it comes to things like this. I’m sure you were a beautiful bride! Any pics? I’d love to see.

Post # 11
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

That’s rubbish, I’m sorry. It’s natural for you to feel a little low about this but it will pass. There’s no point in crying over spilt milk. 

 

Those 40 people that did attend are the ones who care. The others may care too but you may simply have experienced a terrible case of ‘life gets in the way’. Try not to dwell. 170 sounds like an exceptionally high number of people – you wouldn’t have been able to experience it in the same way anyway. You have a husband now, so relish on your new chapter! Congratulations to you both.

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