Post wedding venting

posted 2 weeks ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

Viviana2 :  Bee first of all congrats on getting married!! It sounds like a lot of things that went wrong were out of your control, so you have to try to put that behind you. I hope you are on the mend and managing your diagnosis the best you can. People hype up the wedding day so much (I know this is a wedding site but just being real) to where everything could go right and it still might not be the “perfect” day you envisioned. If it makes you feel any better, my husband and I were together only some of the time on our wedding day, he looked detached in the ceremony but he said later he was really nervous and didn’t want to show that in front of guests. We did split off and do our own thing during the reception too. We didn’t get a honeymoon bc we went so over budget so we just went home that night and Darling Husband got so drunk we didn’t even do it on our wedding night. Don’t feel too bad about it, really!! It’s just one day. 

What irks me the most though is about your mom. It’s super shitty of her to blow you off multiple times leading up to and ON your wedding day. Who “forgets” to pick up the bride?! That’s so selfish and this day should be about YOU – getting her makeup done is important, but honestly should be secondary to making sure you are not ALONE before your wedding. You would have already taken care of it as well so there was no reason for her to get it done elsewhere. So sorry this was your experience bee- but the day is done and I would learn a lesson from this not to place trust in those who are not going to come through for you, even if that is your family. 

Post # 3
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

This is probably why it’s a good idea not to build your wedding up to be some magical, fantasy fairytale day in your head. Such high expectations are bound to leave you disappointed – you and your family are still exactly the same people,  are human, and when it comes down to it this is just another day.

All this extra wedding pressure sadly can just cause you all to lose your heads and actually dampen your enjoyment. You’ve built this up so much and spent so much money that you have to HAVE an amazingly perfect time all day, right?!

That being said, it sucks nobody showed up to your dress appointment and that your mum chose to leave you to get ready alone. That goes beyond understandable wedding day disappointment imo.

 

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

OK so usually these post wedding disappointment posts are insufferable… but not yours. 

Bee, I’m so sorry! You had to deal with a lot of crappy stuff circumstancially. And it also sounds like people who you should have been able to count on… failed to follow through. 

You have legit reasons to be frustrated/dissapointed. Give yourself a timeframe to be sad and process the dissappointment. Thats totally reasonable. Just dont let it eat you up. Find a time at which you choose to emotionally close the door and move forward. It is only one day, and dissapointing as it was, you have a great life ahead of you!

Post # 5
Member
6883 posts
Busy Beekeeper

That is a lot to handle for just a few months! I can relate to one part – my moms makeup. I had asked her months ahead of time if she wanted to get ready with me, I’ve already booked a HMUA who can take care of you, we’d just adjust the times. She said no no, I’ll get ready at the hotel and come over early for your pictures. 

Then the NIGHT BEFORE she told me that she’d actually booked HMUA downtown, and would not be thre for the “getting ready” time pictures. I was like WTF – I was going to pay for you to get all of this done so we could hang out together? Anyways she also missed most of that time, but we got a few pictures together, but I was annoyed. 

Post # 7
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

i’m sorry bee.  i’m glad that you had a great honeymoon.  it seems really shitty that your friends/family all bailed on you on your wedding day and left you to get ready alone.  i would be really hurt by that.  is your mom usually a flaky person?

Post # 8
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

Damn bee,

 

That’s a lot. I’m sorry about your diagnosis and huge life changes. I’m REALLY sorry that people fell through for you- including your mom and Mother-In-Law. People should have been more supportive and there for you. I am glad that the honeymoon was awesome, and I hope that you can look forward to making a whole lifetime of memories going forward 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Viviana2 :  You should tell your mom how hurt YOU are becasue of her selfishness. I get shes your mom, but omg, this is ridiculous! These people tried to make your day all about them! You need to be honest and not let them walk over you like that. I’m so glad you at least enjoyed your honeymoon! 

Post # 10
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

I am so sorry that this happened to you! 

I also felt bad after my wedding. I moved across the country from my family, and I had to go dress shopping and do everything completely on my own. I didn’t have any bridesmaids. I got ready in a large bathroom upstairs (there was room for everyone, the bathroom was larger than the bedroom) listening to my mom and my siblings downstairs drinking wine and laughing, having breakfast. No one brought me anything. No one came up to hang out with me. The only time anyone came up was to ask me questions and have me manage situations. I was trying to do my own hair and makeup and because of the constant questions I had to stop constantly and it made me super late for my ceremony. Because we were so late for the ceremony we had to push back the dinner. Because the dinner was pushed back we didn’t get to have a sunset reception nor sunset photos, all the photos we did take were rushed, and service was rushed at the end. Boo. 

But yes, the honeymoon was amazing and I’m so grateful for that and for my fabulous husband. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
24 posts
Newbee

At this point in time, you may need to just accept that the vision you had in mind for your perfect wedding experience may not be as exciting or accommodating to others’ schedules and lifestyles. My advice is to let all this shit go.  Things are not as bad as they seem.   Your friends and loved ones are all individuals with their own quirks, routines, and boundaries.  Go with the flow and always be prepared to make adjustments.  I promise it’ll make the experience much more enjoyable for everyone once you accept that you can’t control everything. Seriously, it’s liberating AF, so give it a shot.  Here’s something that may help you: https://youtu.be/92i5m3tV5XY

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