(Closed) Post your funny statuses from your FB timeline :)

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

“is saving the world by drinking boxed wine!”

Post # 4
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

haha I have quite a few from college that may only be funny to my old roommate and i but I got quite a giggle out of these:

o0olibelulao0o is white and cannot “bump”

i love lamp chain…and push pin!

I have lots of these silly things all over my timeline:


…___ A BOAT_____/

which probably makes you pretty angry. I’d be pretty pissed too.


This was written on my wall: “I don’t know what sort of ninjas YOU’RE hanging out with, but the ninjas I know can out-sex a pirate any day ;)”

after I posted this gem of a status: o0olibelulao0o is a dirty pirate hooker. (it was halloween just for the record, and I was a pirate.)


Post # 5
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Baha, I haven’t tried looking back at my status updates yet. Gonna go take a whirl through time! These are just from 2006:

“Unfortunatly it only lasted about 5 minutes :'(“ — posted on my wall in 2006 by my Fiance, who at the time was just a friend who lived on my dorm floor. Nooooo idea!

“thinking she should clean her room soon because the snacks are totally coming tomorrow … ;D” Um… okay then.

“stabbing something. Or going to class. Or eating. Or maybe ALL THREE AT THE SAME TIME!” 

“reading. Always readingggg. *shoots Charles Dickens*” Anyone who’s ever read Bleak House should understand. Especially if you had to read it in a week.



Post # 8
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

You know what’s a funny word… dictator… think about it, it sounds like an insult. Lol I think I’m gonna start calling people dick-tators.

“Girllll you gotta watch your crotch” -stacey. Hahahahahahaha

Haha when I woke up this morning I opened my internet browser on my phone and I had googled “alcohol poisioning” wtf happened last night!?


Post # 9
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“So bummed i really want a pickle and the stupid jar wont open :(” From 4 days ago lol

” i’ll always be your goldfish! thanks!” From a friend…

“Gave emma her first official bath and she peed on me….. twice…. lol”

“entertainment= juan+friends taking our washer and dryer upstairs to our 3rd story apartment lol…”

“Got a round house kick to the jaw from a 2 year old… it really hurt…”

Here is a few of mine…

Post # 10
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

“I wish I was a turtle so I could breathe out of my butt.”


I have NO IDEA wtf I’m talking about…or what context this could possibly have been in.

Post # 12
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My favorite is “listening to jonathan talk. and talk. and talk.”  This was about my Darling Husband around the time we first started hanging out but before actually dating.

Post # 13
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I was quoting a friend from the night before “You are 50% sober , I am 50% sober , together are 100% sober… we can handle this!”  – 2009

Post # 14
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Oh, too many to list here.  Evidently, when I first started using facebook, I was an annoying vague commenter.

Fine examples include:

– “over it”

– “some people are just rude”

– “sick of waiting for others to be on the same page”  (Clearly, I was having a bad waiting day. )

What is funny to me is this type of status update annoy me to no end now.  Needless to say these vague posts were deleted right away.

Post # 15
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I don’t have mine yet. But I’m enjoying reading. Good idea for a fun thread, galloway111!

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