Postage on the RSVP? Is it really important?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

If you have an online or email RSVP option I think it’s ok but if you’re expecting people to mail them back to you, you do need to provide postage IMO.

Post # 17
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It is very rude to not provide postage to guests if you require them to mail back an RSVP card. Do online RSVPs only if you can’t afford stamps. 

Post # 18
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

If you were having a small budget wedding to keep costs down, I would totally say go for it. But you’re not. $100 for rsvp postage is like 300+ people. Not sending stamps when you chose that large of a wedding is just being cheap. 

Post # 19
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I went to 7 weddings last year. I only got one rsvp card without a stamp on it. I’m sorry but I found it extremely rude. As someone who pays all bills on line I didn’t have stamps lying around and had to go to the grocery store to buy stamps. The wedding was one of my FI’s friends so it wasn’t like I felt comfortable calling them to rsvp.

Post # 20
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

I think it is inappropriate to mail a response card without postage. 

Post # 21
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We didn’t put stamps on our RSVP cards, some people chose to mail them back to us but most people replied via our website, email, text or in person.  We invited 80 people (sent out about 50 invites.)  People revel in taking offence at pettty things like this and expect everyone to bend over backwards to invite them to something.  I think we had about 10 back in the post (3 of them were from abroard from friends who wanted to suprise us with their acceptance.)

 

It’s a stamp, FFS.  If you dont have one handy then use Facebook, send a text, make a phone call, reply in person, whatever, just don’t bitch and moan becase someone loved you enough to invite you to their wedding but for whatever reason didn’t put a stamp on your RSVP.  If you’re that bitter towards the bride and groom over something so petty then don’t insult them by going to their wedding.

 

Also if you don’t have at least one stamp handy somewhere in your handbag or your house then I’m sorry but you’re just shit at life.

Post # 22
Member
711 posts
Busy bee

I would definitely include the RSVP envelope with a stamp. While it’s an added cost, it is easier for guests to just drop the RSVP in the mail. It isn’t a lot of money to add 1 more stamp per invitation, and it is fun to get all of the RSVP envelopes in the mail! I agree with PP’s that say it would be rude to include the RSVP and envelope with no stamp.

Post # 23
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
bellsprout :  All of this. How do people not have stamps…

Also low key laughing at “don’t be cheap” comments. A stamp is 49 cents, and too expensive for the guests apparently.

For the record, we did include stamps. About a third didn’t send them back.

Post # 24
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
bellsprout :  

“Also if you don’t have at least one stamp handy somewhere in your handbag or your house then I’m sorry but you’re just shit at life.”

Seriously? This is how you define how successful someone is at life? Guess I suck at life then. I pay all my bills online and don’t usually have stamps on hand because I don’t use them. 

FWIW, I think it’s okay to leave the stamp off if other options are provided to RSVP but geez, what a reach.

 

Post # 25
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
MrsBeck :  I must also suck at life or you may find a christmas stamp…

Post # 26
Member
406 posts
Helper bee

I dont have a stamp in my posession now (we ran out and dont really ever have to mail anything). I am sure I will need them at some point, but if an rsvp came in today without a stamp, it prbably wouldnt be going back, as I am not spending 15 dollars to buy a book of stamps to send an rsvp back.  I would most likely text the person.

With a larger wedding I do find it a bit cheaper, and rude not to do it. Last year I sent out RSVPs to over 100 addresses, and paid for a lot of the wedding myself. Its just something in the wedding process overall cost you learn to suck up. I will say, I have gotten an online invite and RSVP once, and the first thing that came to my mind is this person must be on a tight budget. Nothing wrong with that if you are having a smaller wedding, but there will be a lot of raised eyebrows if you do this for a big wedding.

Also, one of the pain points of the wedding process was not getting rsvps back. This is definitely more likely to happen if you dont put a stamp on the rsvps.

Post # 27
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
MrsBeck :  If you don’t use them then I’m assuming you wouldn’t be complaining that one wasnt included with your RSVP since you would probably use the online, phone of physical conversation methods of replying to your invitation.

 

FFIW I also very rarely physically mail anything but I always have a book of stamps ready to send birthday/christmas/mother’s day cards etc.  I go though less than a dozen a year.  It’s just one of those things that most people have, if you don’t have them….. They really aren’t that difficult to find.  Ironically people too offended to source their own stamp really offend me.

Post # 28
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
bellsprout :  the thing is, you sometimes see brides on here all “omg! So and so texted me instead of sending back the damn rsvp!” so you can never really win. If the RSVP specifically says to email or call I would be totally cool doing that but if it didn’t say that I would be wary to respond in a different way due to some of the responses and posts I have seen here.

Like I said, I see no issue with what OP suggested. I just think it’s a reach to assume someone is unorganized or shit at life just because they don’t have stamps.

View original reply
kwbride2015 :  guess we should run out and buy some. If only I knew years ago that buying some stamps would help me get my shit together 😉

Post # 29
Member
12840 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’ll repeat. Regardless of what you or I might do out of consideration and convenience for our guests, it is in no way shape or form rude to expect guests to put a stamp on a return envelope. That is misinformation. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s rude for guests to throw a temper tantrum over supplying a piece of paper and a stamp. The fact that some actually think that justifies a non reply is mind boggling.  

The most proper way to RSVP to a wedding is in writing, in the language of the invitation. It doesn’t have to be on the card supplied. And every grocery store sells stamps. However, any reply counts, including text, phone, or in person. 

http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/04/09/miss-mannersdo-i-have-to-put-stamps-on-my-rsvp-envelopes/

Post # 30
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Hmm, it’s not about the 50 cents. It’s about someone has to spend money to let you know, if they will spend even more time and money on you, on your wedding. I feel like the least you can do is put a stamp on it. So what if they don’t use it? It’s on them, not you. 

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