(Closed) Posted about tiered receptions elsewhere and was attacked

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Yeah I think this isn’t a great look and I would be pretty offended if I was on the receiving end of the 8pm invite. I get in their head they’re trying to include everyone without spending a fortune but I think if you wanted to invite so many people then you have to cut elsewhere 

Post # 3
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

I have never heard of a tiered reception and think it would be better to not invite someone to the reception at all than to invite them for part of it and for them to learn that others had dinner there and such. This is completely odd to me. I’ve never even heard of it. And yea, it does seem rude to me.

Post # 4
Member
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I honestly can’t believe that 1. this is even a thing and 2. the bride and groom thought it was a good idea to invite some people of the same friend group to dinner, but not others. WTF.

Post # 5
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Came back to say what happens when one guest asks another how their dinner was and they’re like uhhh what dinner? Still so baffled by this

Post # 6
Member
7912 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This is common in the UK and considered rude in the US. Where are you?

ETA: I was referring to evening only invitations in the UK which typically do not include the ceremony.

Post # 7
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Its NOT common in the part of the UK I come from…. I have never come across it before.

I have seen general verbal/facebook ‘invites’ extended to people to join for drinks/party AFTER the ceremony and formal reception are done, but never something like OP describes and I agree its not right.

Post # 8
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

View original reply
beethree :  I’m in the UK and have never heard of this. Obviously we have the evening guests who arrive for drinks and dancing after the ceremony and reception but I’ve never heard of guests attending the ceremony then being invited back hours later for dessert and drinks. 

Definitely don’t agree with it OP. Really rude. 

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
beethree :  Hi, I’m just curious. In the UK, are the tiered receptions as described with everyone at the ceremony and then they go home and some are invited earlier or later to the reception? Or is it that those people who are invited later aren’t invited to the ceremony at all? Just wondering. I feel like invited some people to the ceremony and not the reception is more agreeable (to me) than to invite people to only part of the reception.

Post # 10
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Umm… UK bee here. It is *not* common. Some people have reception-only guests but I’ve never heard of a tiered reception, and think it incredibly rude..! 

Post # 11
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I am in the UK. It is very common to have all day and then evening only invites, however it is slightly different to what is described above. Evening only are not invited to the ceremony, these are often work friends, distant relatives, generally people who you’d like to have a drink with to celebrate but either prefer to keep the ceremony more private or the venue numbers/money etc mean thats you can’t have everyone there for the ceremony and reception meal. These evening only guests arrive after the meal is done with, literally just for the dancing/drinking/party bit of the night.

I have been to a wedding similar to above where we all went ceremony, only the family had the reception meal and then we went to the evening party later on. Was a pain and I didn’t like it but I didn’t find it rude, just a pain logistically.

Post # 12
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’d say I’m pretty shocked so many people on FB attacked you over it..

but honestly FB comment sections are cesspools of human filth.  Nothing I read there (re: racism; sexism; murder; torture; etc..) shocks me anymore… so I guess it’s not shocking that people support something comparatively small light the rudeness of a tiered reception.  (Which is definitely rude, just, you know, not as vile as government-sponsored torture or whatever else I’ve seen FB commenters defend).

Anywho, to answer your question: yeah definitely pretty rude.  It’s not like the 8pm guests won’t notice when they arrive that a whole bunch of people just had dinner there, hosted by the bride and groom.

Post # 13
Member
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I find tiered receptions really rude. But you trying to defend the rude things you did but complain about this is kind of ironic lol. 

Post # 14
Member
7912 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I was referring to the ‘evening only’ UK invites. I honestly assume guests invited to the ceremony and then just for drinks and dancing would skip the ceremony–what the hell are you supposed to do with such a gap?

FWIW I do think it’s rude to invite only some of the guests invited to the ceremony to dinner. The people responding to the FB group likely have little knowledge of etiquette, let alone wedding etiquette. 

Post # 15
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

View original reply
englishbride2018 :  I’ve been to 50 or so weddings here in the UK and luckily never had that. Was it just family for the reception meal? 

The topic ‘Posted about tiered receptions elsewhere and was attacked’ is closed to new replies.

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