Post # 1
Hi bees hows it going? I have a friend who asked me to post her story on the bee to ask for some advice she’s here with me now. some back story
she’s dating someone right now
they are in their 30’s Before he met her he was in a 7 year relationship with his previous ex they broke up about 6 months ago and my friend Amy she’s been seeing him for a little over 4 months now , They basically have a relationship , go out to dinners they are intimate but he refuses to meet her friends before they are official , Amy is looking to be in a relationship with him and is falling in love with him and the last time she brought up about being in a relationship was may 4th… they spend every weekend together , do lots of activites together and are always talking when they aren’t together but she is so afraid to bring it up the relationship talk because she is afraid she will lose the opportunity to keep dating him neither she or he has brought up the relationship talk and she wants to know if this is worth it bees he is still active on the dating site and so is she but she hasn’t met anyone else since she started seeing him and she’s confident he hasn’t met anyone else but also isn’t 100% sure bcause he sees her every weekend and doesn’t leave him time for anyone else , She needs advice and she’s here with me now thanks bees! xoxo
Post # 2
Honestly? It sounds like a rebound and your friend should move on.
Post # 3
I was thinking rebound also.
But if she brings it up and he bolts, she has her answer.
Post # 4
vikingbride89 : When she asks him for an explanation as to why he is refusing to meet her friends, what does he say?
Post # 5
sassy411 : she says that he doesn’t feel comfortable meeting her friends until they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
Post # 6
vikingbride89 : She should ask him directly to be boyfriend/girlfriend. They’ve been going out four months now, that’s plenty of time. Even if he doesn’t want to, at least she has her answer that he’s not actually serious about this relationship, and she can find a guy with the balls to meet her friends. If he can’t commit to being in a serious relationship, he won’t commit to anything else.
It’s not hard, just ask him already. This shouldn’t be complicated.
Post # 7
So, he won’t meet her friends until they are “official”…has Amy made it clear she would like to be official?
Honestly, he doesn’t want to commit to Amy. He is enjoying all the benefits of a girlfriend without actually having a girlfriend, and if Amy wants to be in a relationship, she should probably look elsewhere.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
Why delay the conversation? He will either say “lets be boyfriend/girlfriend” or will say he doesn’t want a relationship with her. Either way, she knows the answer and can stop wondering & dancing around it. Plus, if he doesn’t actually want a relationship, wouldn’t that be better to know sooner rather than later? Also, doesn’t she want to date someone that she can have open & honest conversations with? part of that is being able to talk about what you want and where you see things going without it being a huge deal.
The guys I met or dated that “didn’t know” if they wanted a relationship or wanted to “start casual and go from there” weren’t interested in something serious or long-term. I was, so that was a deal-breaker. My SO asked me 2-3 weeks in if we were exclusive (we’d been talking for 2.5 months by then). If he doesn’t know by 4 months if he wants a relationship with her, he’s not worth sticking around for.
Post # 9
It doesn’t take 4 months to know….This guy is either stringing her along or really is a fool and she needs to move on
Post # 10
3 monts in my current SO and I had both deleted our dating profiles and had said “I’m not seeing anyone else, are you seeing anyone else?” type of stuff. If she is looking for something serious, it is probably time for her to move on
Post # 11
I feel so bad for her , she said this is the longest she has dated someone without being official. She doesn’t know what to do because he treats her really well other than NOT being official.
Post # 12
vikingbride89 : holy punctuation, Batman! What happened to using a period?
if your friend is too scared to ask the guy to make it official, then that’s the answer right. Your shouldn’t be scared or anxious in a relationship.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
of course she knows what to do… she initiates the conversation. It really isnt that hard! Nerverwracking to bring it up, maybe… but it’s an easy solution.
Post # 14
catskillsinjune : bahah that is exactly what I was thinking. I was so overwhelmed by the run on haha
Post # 15
What is this, junior high? They’re not officially going steady yet?
This is utter nonsense and frankly, offensive. He’s been stringing her along for four months. But, gawd forbid he should meet her friends, that would mean they’re going together or something.
What is he trying to hide that he’s afraid the friends will figure out?