posting for a friend who needs advice

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4650 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Honestly? It sounds like a rebound and your friend should move on.

Post # 3
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I was thinking rebound also.

But if she brings it up and he bolts, she has her answer.

Post # 4
Member
11102 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

 

vikingbride89 :  When she asks him for an explanation as to why he is refusing to meet her friends, what does he say?

Post # 6
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

vikingbride89 :  She should ask him directly to be boyfriend/girlfriend. They’ve been going out four months now, that’s plenty of time. Even if he doesn’t want to, at least she has her answer that he’s not actually serious about this relationship, and she can find a guy with the balls to meet her friends. If he can’t commit to being in a serious relationship, he won’t commit to anything else.

It’s not hard, just ask him already. This shouldn’t be complicated.

Post # 7
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

So, he won’t meet her friends until they are “official”…has Amy made it clear she would like to be official?

 

Honestly, he doesn’t want to commit to Amy. He is enjoying all the benefits of a girlfriend without actually having a girlfriend, and if Amy wants to be in a relationship, she should probably look elsewhere.

Post # 8
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Why delay the conversation? He will either say “lets be boyfriend/girlfriend” or will say he doesn’t want a relationship with her. Either way, she knows the answer and can stop wondering & dancing around it. Plus, if he doesn’t actually want a relationship, wouldn’t that be better to know sooner rather than later? Also, doesn’t she want to date someone that she can have open & honest conversations with? part of that is being able to talk about what you want and where you see things going without it being a huge deal.

The guys I met or dated that “didn’t know” if they wanted a relationship or wanted to “start casual and go from there” weren’t interested in something serious or long-term. I was, so that was a deal-breaker. My SO asked me 2-3 weeks in if we were exclusive (we’d been talking for 2.5 months by then). If he doesn’t know by 4 months if he wants a relationship with her, he’s not worth sticking around for.

Post # 9
Member
6436 posts
Bee Keeper

It doesn’t take 4 months to know….This guy is either stringing her along or really is a fool and she needs to move on

Post # 10
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

3 monts in my current SO and I had both deleted our dating profiles and had said “I’m not seeing anyone else, are you seeing anyone else?” type of stuff. If she is looking for something serious, it is probably time for her to move on 

Post # 12
Member
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

vikingbride89 :  holy punctuation, Batman! What happened to using a period?

if your friend is too scared to ask the guy to make it official, then that’s the answer right. Your shouldn’t be scared or anxious in a relationship. 

Post # 13
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

of course she knows what to do… she initiates the conversation. It really isnt that hard! Nerverwracking to bring it up, maybe… but it’s an easy solution.

Post # 14
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

catskillsinjune :  bahah that is exactly what I was thinking. I was so overwhelmed by the run on haha

Post # 15
Member
11102 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

vikingbride89 :  

What is this, junior high?  They’re not officially going steady yet?

This is utter nonsense and frankly, offensive.  He’s been stringing her along for four months.  But, gawd forbid he should meet her friends, that would mean they’re going together or something.

What is he trying to hide that he’s afraid the friends will figure out?

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