(Closed) postpartum depression, did you go on to have more babies?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@MrsHoneyC:  I just want to let you know that not everyone feels completely infatuated, and even those who do still struggle sometimes.  If I looked at your pictures without reading your post, I’d assume you were one of those happy glowy moms, and the point is that everyone struggles beneath the surface.  Sometimes when DS is crying and I’ve tried everything, I have to hand him off to Darling Husband before I lose my mind, and then when Darling Husband gets him to calm down, I feel even more like I suck at this mommy thing.  I’m not trying to belittle postpartum depression, but I just want you to know that no one is immune to occasional ambivalence, not even the ones posting pictures every five seconds on Facebook with statuses like “Being a mom is the greatest thing ever!”  Good luck, and hang in there.

And in answer to your question, we also plan on having another baby, but sometimes at two in the morning when I’ve been rocking DS for an hour and he’s still fussing, I’m not sure how we’ll survive another one.  But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Post # 18
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Awwwwww, I love the Valentines photo. I was so out of it that I didn’t get any special photography done of my LO in her early days and I am really regretful about that. The sleeping interval sleeping might be the absolute worst part of it all. You feel like a zombie most of the time. The only thing that helped me was to continuously tell myself that it is only temporary.@MrsHoneyC:  

Post # 19
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

<3 and Xoxoxoxoxox Ryland is the most handsome thing. I really hope at your connection comes soon. He loves you and needs you. You are a wonderful mom. <3

Post # 20
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsHoneyC:  You’re only 9 weeks in. I promise you it gets better! I had a rough time connecting with my daughter at first. I resented her, I was sleep deprived and I cried when I thought ab how it would never be just my husband and I ever again. We were stuck with this little person who relied on me for everything and who I didn’t even think I liked. A girlfriend of mine described the early days as “taking care of a tiny little angry tyrant who cries and screams and never says thank you” so true! Here I am over 9 months later and I am head over heels with my daughter. She is awesome! She smiles and screams in happiness everytime she sees me…even if I walked out of the room for 10 seconds and came back. She’s thrilled! She sleeps 12 hours a night, kisses me all over my face and is a happy smiley awesome little person. I’m pregnant again and am worried about how things will go when the new baby comes but I think I’m better prepared the second time around. 

Regarding sleeping- do you swaddle or use white noise? I started using the miracle blanket and white noise around 2 months and we never looked back. My daughter sleeps 12 hours a night and has since 8 weeks. She obviously isn’t swaddled anymore but the swaddle helped w her initial good habits. Regular naps are important too. I suggest the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” I did SO MUCH research on sleep. If you need any help let me know. Sleep deprivation is rough and its important to get your baby on a good schedule for their sake and yours.

 

Post # 21
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hey hun, 

I totally get what you’re going through – our little guy is 3 months old and we are still getting shit sleep. lol. I had major baby blues, and then later PPD. I do still feel like I suffer with it a bit, and wanted to reach out. If you want to message me privately I’m always happy to chat – misery loves company sometimes. 🙂 🙂 I do plan on having a second, someday… but right now we are just trying to survive this baby and keep our shit together in the meantime! 

*hugs* 

Post # 22
Member
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@MrsHoneyC:  

Oh man. Your feelings are TOTALLY normal. My son is 4 months old & I feel I have just recently (like within the past month) really connected with him. I was completely convinced he liked his daddy better, that he only saw me as a buffet bar (because of breastfeeding) etc. In fact I just wrote a post last week about the challenges of being a first time mommy. I left out the part about being depressed all the time because I knew everyone would probably be on me to see a doctor (which I already did, but I’m not taking meds. I hate meds.) I thought I had PPD (think I might still be getting over it, but each day gets better like you said) & really didn’t feel close to my baby in those early weeks. Like you, I felt/still feel guilty for wasting that time being negative. The one thing that helps me though is the fact that HE was too little to understand my distant/negative feelings. Having a brand new baby is NOT FUN..it is SO MUCH FREAKING WORK it’s bound to make us depressed! We go from a care-free, self-centered existence to a full-time caregiver of a tiny crying, peeing, pooping, eating machine. It sucks lol! I feel like we are grossly unprepared for reality when baby arrives. I know I was.

To answer your question: I love my son more than life. I would swim oceans for him. He is my world. That being said, I do NOT plan on having any more kids. It is extremely challenging & I didn’t have a fun birth experience to begin with (EMCS) so it was just kind of terrible from the start. If I do ever accidentally get pregnant again, that’s one thing, but it is defibnately not our plan. 

Dont beat yourself up about those early weeks. They suck. They do. It’s normal. In fact, I’ve heard it so much that now I’m convinced that the people who actually ENJOY those early weeks are the weirdos! It’s not us, it’s them! 🙂 Focus on today, enjoy your son as much as possible. Some days are still going to be really hard. Yesterday was one of those days for me. He was extremely demanding & I just kept thinking “he’s growing fast, it won’t always be this way..”

Your & your baby are both GORGEOUS! Thanks for sharing your post & pics. 

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