(Closed) Postponing a proposal?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What should I do?
    Talk to SO and explain how I am feeling- He will understand! : (2 votes)
    20 %
    Don't say anything - just let it all happen : (6 votes)
    60 %
    Talk to mom & dad and see what they have to say about it : (2 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Well, an engagement means you’re committed to each other and want to be married.

    you’re on board with that, right?

    Just because you get engaged I don’t think it means you have to get married right away. I’d have a more serious talk about your timeline for getting Married.

    If he already has the ring, it’s not like he’s blowing his savings on something he shouldn’t be. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being engaged and planning to get married later because of life circumstances. Maybe see where he stands with that?

    Post # 4
    Member
    5479 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t vote… I think that being engaged is ok if you’re in school.  You don’t have to rush and get married right away just because he popped the question.  I will have been engaged to Fiance just 3 days short of 2 years when we finally get married.  He wanted to propose and make a commitment a little earlier than I had expected, but since I knew I wanted to be with him forever, I accepted and we talked about just having a long engagement so we can get our feet on the ground and be a little bit more stable financially before taking the plunge.

    If you love him & want to spend your life with him, go for it!  Enjoy being engaged & not having pressure to make wedding decisions etc. I think your parents will respect you for following your heart while listening to your head ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 5
    Member
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If you got engaged right now would you WANT to get married right away?  I know of LOTS of people who are engaged for more than a year or even two! If you want to be engaged and know that you’ll just take your time planning the actual wedding until you’re “back on your feet” I would talk to your parents and let them know.  I’m sure that if you explain your feelings to everyone (SO included) everyone will be happy. SO sounds like a great guy and I’m sure your parents love you- in the end, it should be about what the future bride and groom want:)

    Post # 7
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    To be honest, I wouldn’t talk to your parents about it until after the proposal. I feel like since your Fiance has already asked for their blessing, their input is done.

    If you go to them before he proposes looking for their approval and explaining yourself, I feel like you’re setting up the expectation that you’ll do that for the rest of your life.

    Want to buy a house? better check with your parents. Want to have a kid? better check with them.

    I feel like this is a decision that should be made between you and Fiance since you’re both adults and it’s a decision that affects you. Not the parents.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    If he already has the ring, it is not a $$ spending issue and you can decide to have a longer engagement to allow you to get on your feet before planning a wedding. We had a 3 year engagement as Darling Husband proposed while he was finifhing up his Masters program shortly after I moved to be with him. I think there is no reason not to get engaged now, just don’t rush the wedding.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7416 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissMaryMc: Exactly! An engagement is between two people, not four. You respect you parents thats great, but its time to start seperating a little. As your parents they will always have concerns. But you don’t need to consult with them on everything.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1013 posts
    Bumble bee

    Getting engaged does not mean you have to deal with the financial burden right away. I know lots of people that have had 2 year long engagaments to finish school etc.  So dont worry and let it happen if you love him!

    The topic ‘Postponing a proposal?’ is closed to new replies.

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