Post # 1
some of you may have seen previous posts from me about my Future Mother-In-Law battling cancer. We are in the midst of her chemo treatment now.
that being said, my FI’s dad had a heart attack Thursday night. He is having triple bypass surgery this coming Tuesday.
everything is so overwealming, so we are postponing the wedding to late Sept or Oct. (I’m waiting to hear from my vendors to find out when they are all available the same day.
while I know this is no ones fault, part of me is angry. I feel bad for feeling this way. Am I selfish? 🙁
Sorry for any typos, typing this on my iPhone.
Post # 3
@MissSangria: Wow – you are going through a really hard time. I would be kind to yourself and let you feel the way you feel. Of course you don’t want to postpone your wedding – I’m sure you would prefer your in laws to be happy and healthy. You’re doing the right thing but it is okay to acknowlege this is hard.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I’m so sorry to hear about all of this going on for you!!
I don’t think you’re selfish for being angry. I would think your anger comes from frustration that so many negative things are happening (which could make anyone angry, especially things like these!), coupled with the fact that you’ve decided to take on the added stress of pushing back your wedding, I do not think you’re selfish. There is just a lot going on and it’s understandably frustrating.
I wish the best to your Future Mother-In-Law and FFIL’s health. Let’s hope they are healthy and able to attend your late 2014 wedding! 🙂
Post # 5
@MissSangria: I’m so sorry! I know it feels bad to feel angry but I think that is a completely normal response. It isn’t fair, and unfortunately life happens at the most inconvenient times! 🙁
Post # 6
thanks for your kind words. I’ve been feeling like an asshole for having these thoughts. it’s not just the wedding, we have been shelling out a lot of money to help his parents. fi’s sister and husband are not helping much in that regard which adds more stress.
I about lost my fucking mind when fi mentioned to me that he is thinking about selling his Camaro to help his parents financial problems the illnesses have created. He loves that car. He never buys anything for himself and he was so happy when he bought it. 🙁 I have resentment on so many levels. I don’t know how to deal with it.
Post # 7
@MissSangria: That’s awful and I’m sorry. But hopefully your wedding will be much more enjoyable when people can attend in full health. If you had it now it would be gloomy and bittersweet.
Post # 10
@MissSangria: hoping for both of their speedy recoveries. but like the PP stated, postponing the wedding is probably a good thing that way instead of it being bittersweet, it could just be “sweet” and a celebration of family, love, etc.
You are not wrong for feeling the way you do, its only natural. you are excited and proabaly anxious to marry your boo so putting it off isnt ideal because you are soo ready to be married. however, you are doing it for all of the right reasons and im sure your Fiance appreciates you for this.
Wish all of you the best.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
This might be a good opportunity (not right this second, let enough time pass that both you and Fiance are mentally/emotionally stable) for you and Fiance to have a good constructive discussion on how much you both will contribute to the care of his parents (throw yours in there too so it doesn’t seem one-sided). It’s important that you’re careful not to financially burden yourselves! Do what you can – that’s great – but not at the expense of suffering (like selling FI’s favorite car). He should not have to do that.
Post # 12
@MissSangria: no, you didn’t ask for it. i’m sorry you are going through all of that.
Post # 13
Of course you feel angry. My mom is going through a serious illness right now as well, and it makes you angry at the world in a “why is this happening” sort of way. It makes you angry that this has to happen during your engagement (such a special time that will only happen once and is supposed to be fun and joyful). If this is happening partially because your family member didnt’ take the best care of themselves, you might even feel angry at themselves for being sick.
It’s normal. You’ll work though these emotions. Do your best not to take them out on people. Go somewhere that you can scream at the top of your lungs and sob. Let it out.
Post # 14
I just wanted to thank everyone for your responses. I’m trying not to be so hard on myself. It helps to have bees that understand. Thank you so much. ❤️
Post # 15
You are not selfish and you are an angel for thinking of your in-laws.
Believe me, not all brides would postpone their wedding because their in-laws are ill.