Post # 62
I think you know this relationship is over. I think you need counseling for yourself, to figure out who you are as a person (not as a girlfriend) and what you want in your life. I understand that there are cultural factors for you at play here, and so it would be good to find a therapist who can understand some of that, if its possible to do so. DOn’t marry someone you don’t want to spend every day for the rest of your life with. Its a giant waste of money and heartbreak for everyone involved (not just you, but also your families).
Post # 63
Honestly, I don’t think you are ready to marry anyone.
You seem to be focused on what he buys you/ doesn’t buy you, how much “fun” he is. Long lasting loving relationships are about respect, giving, and love for who the other person is. You don’t seem to have any of that for this man.
Clearly you are afraid to be alone, and a few years ago I was the same way. Time alone and a great therapist resolved that and then I met the greatest man alive.
He deserves someone that loves him for who he is, if you care about him at all set him free and let him find someone that thinks he hangs the moon. Then, get some counseling and try to focus on what really matters in life and love.
Post # 64
@CupCakeMeg: and @NellieX: …and logged back on to Weddingbee to rub it on somebody else’s face? Sorry ladies, but I don’t think that was highly constructive. I’m already as confused and hurt as it is without that unnecessary input from you. Also, good for you, I’m envious that you never had doubts or serious issues or cold feet re: respective FIs. As much as I’m trying to keep an open mind to everyone’s advice/comments, I just couldn’t fathom why you felt you had to post that here.
As for everybody else, yes, it does seem like I’m just a whiny ungrateful immature bitch but guess what? The mostly negative comments I posted were mostly just kept in my head, for many many years. I can say with certainty that through all the experiences Fiance and I went through, we both have changed to two fledgling adults trying to revive this ever-changing dynamic relationship. I finally find a forum where I felt safe to post them (and highly regard people’s perception), and I get a lot of really good comments/advice, but also some which are maybe a bit too blunt. Oh well, we’re all different.
@danalovely: And yes I am an overthinker, and a bit of a perfectionist. 🙂
We’re meeting up with the counsellor this thursday. I can’t really say anything about this anymore until a few sessions have passed, or anything has changed. Thanks again everybody for your comments, most were very welcome, however heart-wrenching!
And congratulations to all you happy couples out there.
Post # 65
@msseahorse: Sorry, but I’m not here to lick your perceived wounds. Your fiance definitely has the raw end of the bargin in this case.
Post # 66
wow. My head seriously hurts after attempting to read that half way. One plus is that that your going for counseling after all these years, because everyone is damaged and has issue(s). I’m so grateful that I finally went to couseling a few years ago and more than helping my relationship it helped me to learn more about myself. We all we need to become healthier as individuals.
I hope you guys can work thru your issues, but from what I read it doesn’t seem likely cause like its been pointed out it doesn’t seem like you like him much. But only time will tell with the help of a professional. But once you go thru a sufficent amount of conuseling and if you still see as lox said:
You really sound like someone who is trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. You really really want that darn thing to fit, and you could probably at least get it in there if you tried really hard, but it’s never going to be just right.
Just let it go. You’ll be happier in the long run.
And just because people are “harsh” doesn’t mean we don’t have issues in our relationship issues as well. You should re-read what you posted in few months to understand why some of us are SO taken aback. As for your comments to @CupCakeMeg: and @NellieX: its called tough love. Its the risk you take for posting on public forum not everyone is not gonna tip toe on eggshells to protect your ego.