(Closed) Postponing the wedding…indefinitely (uber long novel, apologizes in advance)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you know this relationship is over. I think you need counseling for yourself, to figure out who you are as a person (not as a girlfriend) and what you want in your life. I understand that there are cultural factors for you at play here, and so it would be good to find a therapist who can understand some of that, if its possible to do so. DOn’t marry someone you don’t want to spend every day for the rest of your life with. Its a giant waste of money and heartbreak for everyone involved (not just you, but also your families).

Post # 63
Member
13 posts
Newbee

Honestly, I don’t think you are ready to marry anyone.

You seem to be focused on what he buys you/ doesn’t buy you, how much “fun” he is. Long lasting loving relationships are about respect, giving, and love for who the other person is. You don’t seem to have any of that for this man.

Clearly you are afraid to be alone, and a few years ago I was the same way. Time alone and a great therapist resolved that and then I met the greatest man alive.

He deserves someone that loves him for who he is, if you care about him at all set him free and let him find someone that thinks he hangs the moon. Then, get some counseling and try to focus on what really matters in life and love.

Post # 65
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@msseahorse: Sorry, but I’m not here to lick your perceived wounds. Your fiance definitely has the raw end of the bargin in this case.

Post # 66
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

wow. My head seriously hurts after attempting to read that half way. One plus is that that your going for counseling after all these years, because everyone is damaged and has issue(s). I’m so grateful that I finally went to couseling a few years ago and more than helping my relationship it helped me to learn more about myself. We all we need to become healthier as individuals.

I hope you guys can work thru your issues, but from what I read it doesn’t seem likely cause like its been pointed out it doesn’t seem like you like him much. But only time will tell with the help of a professional. But once you go thru a sufficent amount of conuseling and if you still see as lox said:

You really sound like someone who is trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. You really really want that darn thing to fit, and you could probably at least get it in there if you tried really hard, but it’s never going to be just right.

Just let it go. You’ll be happier in the long run.

And just because people are “harsh” doesn’t mean we don’t have issues in our relationship issues as well. You should re-read what you posted in few months to understand why some of us are SO taken aback. As for your comments to @CupCakeMeg: and @NellieX:  its called tough love. Its the risk you take for posting on public forum not everyone is not gonna tip toe on eggshells to protect your ego.  

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