Postponing wedding – Do or Don't

posted 5 days ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t let other people’s weddings affect when you do yours, unless you think the stress will be too much for you. We booked our wedding, and now have 3 other weddings within 6 weeks of ours, 2 of which we need to travel for. Also, you have so much time that you could get a lot of stuff done over a year before and then not have much left to do as it gets near.

Post # 3
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Depending on the type of wedding why not bring it forward? 

I don’t think it’s a big issue to have a month between your weddings. 

Just a question though … it seems like a small reason to be considering postponing your wedding, are you sure you want the wedding? 

Post # 4
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t think there is a huge problem with being a MOH in July and then getting married yourself in August. What specifically is bothering you about it? Personally I would not have a 3.5year engagement by choice.

I agree with the previous poster, you have already been engaged for a year already and this seems like such a non issue yet it seems like you are using it as an excuse to postpone further l.

Post # 5
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I am not in that situation, but if i was it would be entirely dependant on finances. Also dependant on the costs associated with the MOH role… Truthfully, if you are going to be cutting it close financially, i would suggest postponing the wedding for stress reasons. Wedding planning can be stressful for several reasons, but adding in financial stress to that may mean you enjoy none of it!

Post # 6
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee

 No way I would  postpone my own wedding because of a friend’s wedding.

Post # 7
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

I can understand the financial situation of it if you’re already struggling, especially if travel is going to be a lot. But is their a particular reason why you have to get married in August? Why not pospone it a couple months and have a September or October wedding? Or even to the Spring of 2020?

Post # 8
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

It depends a lot on your finances here. How much are you budgeting for your wedding? Is there any way to bring that down to make it less financially stressful? Would you rather have a more expensive wedding at the expense of waiting another year?

My FI and I are having a 2.5 year engagement because of certain financial factors and are happy with that. It is a very long time, but we already have our budget and saving plan for it ready to go. I wouldn’t extend myself to a 3.5 year engagement for any reason at this point because I’ll want to be done with the wedding and be able to move on with my life!

I also think you should not worry about other people’s weddings around yours. If you can’t afford to go, then don’t go, or figure out another way to be able to (part time job, cutting back spending, etc.)

Post # 9
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t postpone.  If finances are an issue, I’d have a smaller wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m not a fan of postponing my life for others – particular when that thing you are postpoming for is a completely optional party.  But if you are truly as ambivalent about when you get married as you claim to be and want to be as involved financially in her wedding as you seem to think it will require, then postpone.

Personally, with both of you planning weddings and understanding the financial undertakings of that, I would think the easiest thing to do would be talk and be understanding and pare down your financial commitments for each other’s weddings – don’t pick expensive outfits, don’t have expectations of lavish pre-wedding parties, etc.  Make it as easy and inexpensive on both of you as possible and maybe find ways to trim the expenses of your own weddings.  The important part is the marriage and being with your loved ones, not how much money you spend on each other.

Post # 11
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee

I think it depends on your finances, your friend’s finances, and your relationship with your friend. You’re absolutely not obligated to move your wedding for anyone else, but I know that I personally couldn’t have gotten married without my best friend there. But we’re extremely close (she is referred to as my Other Husband 😉 ) 

That said, late summer 2019 is still quite a ways away. if you both know that that’s the goal for that summer then you can plan around it financially. It could be fun to plan your weddings together! 

Post # 12
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t postpone a wedding for my friend, you are halting your life so she can march on and while that is a wonderful gesture it isn’t far on you!! Id go ahead with your plans, if finances are a struggle could you not have a smaller celebration??

Post # 13
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Make sure you are straightforward with your MOH on how much you will be able to spend on her wedding. If you are upfront and honest then hopefully she won’t push you into a $400 bridesmaid dress or a destination bachelorette weekend. You guys can work together to make sure that both your wedding related events aren’t too expensive!

Post # 14
Member
880 posts
Busy bee

really, you would postone your wedding over that? I think that’s a bad idea. It’s almost like picking your friend over picking your fiance. 

Post # 15
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

So is your wedding “planned” yet? Have you chosen anything that is venue/vendor specific, or was it just, well it would be nice if XYZ? Have you announced your date? Did your friend know?

I wouldn’t necessarily postpone my date, but I would ask what kind of things are required of you as MOH to pay for. Since I’m only having my MOH and no other wedding attendants, I’m footing the bill for all her costs, maybe that’s her intention, too?

My wedding is June 16th. Other than finding THE SHOES, figuring out our centerpieces and building a few things, my wedding is done. I’ve been planning since May, but we had everything figured out except for the flowers by mid-November. I’m not using a wedding planner, but I do plan events on the regular, so I have that skill already behind me.

Unless you are absolutely DIYing everything, there’s no reason that the majority of your stuff shouldn’t be done beforehand?

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