(Closed) Postponing Wedding? (long… Of course)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry to hear you and your Fiance are fighting so much.  I think it’s a good idea to postpone the wedding until you both get on the same page.  Marriage is not some magical thing that will fix all of your problems.  It’s best to sort them out before making a commitment to one another.

Post # 5
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

If you’re posting on a wedding forum doubs about marrying this guy, I’d say that is a big warning sign.

Life doesn’t tend to get easier even if work quiets down. I’m sorry, girl!

 

Post # 6
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I think he definitely needs to learn to not take everything so personally.  I think that unless someone genuinely means it, they should never throw out the break up or divorce option, no matter how upset they are.

Once the business is closed, can you schedule a little time away together? Even if it’s just a weekend at a local B&B? It sounds like you guys could really use some time to decompress and spend quality time together not thinking about work.

It might be a good idea to establish some ground rules for disagreements.  If he’s annoyed at you, then he should just tell you what his issue is. Nitpicking you isn’t fair, and isn’t conducive to a healthy relationship. Likewise, threatening to break up sends the message that you entertain the idea of walking away (even if you don’t really mean it, that’s what he’s hearing) and that’s not healthy either.

good luck.

Post # 7
Member
5238 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I think counseling would be a very, very good idea for both of you. Couple’s counseling (I really recommend a non-denominational counselor) will help you work together on your communication as well as taking responsibility for your feelings (like your sensitivity to his comments, and his thinking that your forgetfulness is personal against him!). He needs to learn that if he has an issue, he needs to talk about it like an adult, instead of nitpicking or assuming you are malicious. You need to learn not to threaten to break up unless you actually intend to follow through and also to not allow his nitpicking to attack you personally!

Postponing is up to the both of you. I do think that these are things that need to be resolved BEFORE a wedding though.

 

Post # 8
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think your fight had anything to do with your interstate merging abilities, the bathroom light, or recipes.  They were nothing more than the conduit for a fight.  I think you all could really benefit from working apart, thus spending some time apart, and learning to communicate effectively. 

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