- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
My bridesmaids are my 3 best friends and I love them to death. They’ve been amazing through the whole planning process which I am truly thankful for. Last week bridesmaid M called to tell me that she’s moving a few states away at the end of June. I was bummed when she told me only because I’m going to miss her but this is a really good move for her family so I totally support her. She assured me that she would be back for our wedding so I didn’t press the issue. However, everyone I talk to seems to think she’s going to screw me over and I’m starting to feel like they may be right.
Bridesmaid M isn’t very dependable to begin with. She tends to be pretty flaky, which is something that we’ve all just come to accept. If she told me today that she didn’t think she would be able to come back for our wedding, I would understand. Would I be disappointed? Sure, but I would get over it. She keeps assuring me that she’ll be back though, so at this point I just have to trust that she’ll keep her word.
M is not good with money which is basically the root of my concern. I’m not asking my girls for much but I still feel like it may be too much for her. I’ve requested a low-key, at home shower so that they don’t have to pay any catering fees (our moms and my aunt will help them with whatever they need). All I am asking them to buy are their dresses (less than $150) and shoes (we’ll just decide on a color and they can buy whatever pair they want). Bridesmaid M will have to drive up from her new state which will cost her money and that’s what I’m worried about (flying is pretty much out of the question). I have a sinking feeling that she’s going to bail at the last minute and I’m going to be crushed.
If she would tell me that she didn’t think she was going to be able to swing it that would be fine but I know that if she drops this bomb on me weeks before our wedding, I’m not going to take it well. I’ve done a lot to financially support M over the years and I just can’t do it anymore. It’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to almost feel taken advantage of and she’s not learning how to deal with her own problems. In the event she can’t afford her dress or transportation back here, I just can’t help her.
We’re all meeting this weekend to go bridesmaid dress shopping and I plan to confirm with her that she will be back. Of course she’ll promise me she will be but I’ll be skeptical. At this point I don’t think there’s anything that I can do but sit and wait to see if she follows through. I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those last minute things that blow up in my face and my relationship with her will be affected, which is not something that I want to happen.
Has anyone dealt with anything like this?