Post # 1
So I am currently pregnant for the second time, but this time carrying twins. While I’m excited to be pregnant and have twins, part of me has carried a little sadness this time around. We have always wanted three kids, but I guess before I found out I was having twins, I just imagined three pregnancies, three maternity leaves, three newborn phases. I never imagined that this would be my last time getting and being pregnant. I know this probably sounds so silly, and that I should be appreciative for BEING pregnant, and I AM! But its such a different feeling. We had an ultrasound last week and the tech said she thought both were girls, and again… excited… but its like this looming feeling of sadness because this will be my last time doing this all. I have already told my dh that i would like to consider a 4th way down the round, but im sure if thats because im just obsessed with babies… or because i cant come to terms with this being my last pregnancy! Also – this pregnancy is going SO fast because im so busy with my son. So im sure thats contributing as well. Anyone else feel this way? How do you know your done having kids? Like will I ever be content or always want more lol.
Post # 2
No advice but I feel you. We went back and fourth about having a second for a few months until recently my husband had some “signs” that we should have another (woo!!) but the thought that I didn’t enjoy my first pregnancy and it may be my only really hit me in the feels. I felt guilty for not enjoying it more in the moment.
Post # 3
slomotion : Its such a weird… ocnflicting… guilty feeling! I dont like it!!
Post # 4
I’m due anytime now with my second, and I hate pregnancy and all it entails. I do love babies though.
I’m ecstatic at the thought of never being pregnant again, but at the same time, the thought of this being my last baby is a bit sad.. newborns are so little and precious. It’s normal to have mixed feelings, ESPECIALLY when you’re hormonal as heck. 🙂
Luckily, you don’t need to make any decisions now, you’ll always have the option of another kid. Though, once born, the reality of twins may cement your feelings on the subject.
Post # 5
I felt this way about my baby since I’ve always been 99% sure we’ll be one and done. What made me feel “better” about it is telling myself that even if I had 10 more kids, there will always be a last time, and I’d have to deal with all the emotions surrounding that last time eventually.
I’d happily be pregnant 100000 more times since I had an easy pregnancy and loved every second of it. But then I remember the kind of life I want to lead and the kind of mother I want to be, and know that one (maaaybe 2) is all that I could handle in light of that. I wouldn’t worry about needing to figure it all out right now — it’s not like you have to make any decisions anytime soon and I have a feeling juggling 2 newborns and a little boy might will give you great insight into whether you can (or want to) handle a 4th.
Post # 6
techmom : yessss throw in those hormones lol. Youre right… I wont even SAY it outloud because I think people already feel terrified for me lol. But well see how I feel after juggling two newborns. I also think that often we forget how difficult times can be and fantisize about them. Like I often flip through the adorable videos of my son as a baby and all I think about it how adorable he was… I guess I forget about the sleepless nights lol
Post # 7
TheGridMonster : Youre absolutely right! There always has to be an end! Ive actually been thinking a lot about the lifestyle as well. We are taking my son to disney in a few weeks, and we love to travel. But I was thinking last night about how expensive travelling will soon cost us when we have to buy 5 or 6 plane tickets!!!!!
Post # 8
NMom17 : I had my son at 18 and daugjter at 25. I always wanted another child but after we divorced it took me YEARS to meet my current partner.
My son is now about to be 16, and mine and my FH daughters are 9.5 years old.
I am SOOO sad I will never get to have a baby with him and that the “baby” chapter is closed for me. But, I also really want a chance to live a life for me and for ourselves as adults seperate from kids.
He and I both discussed it a lot and while we both really want that experience together, we want other things more. We really enjoy the semi-independent kids and the freedom that gives us to do other things. We also really look forward to being able to travel more and devote more time to ourselves. We love our kids and our life together but its hectic working and raising a family. We look forward to calmer days in the future.
So, at 34 years old I am definitely sad to know I wont ever get to do the baby thing again. However, that sadness is lessened by all the excitement and joy I have for the rest of our lives together… and by knowing someday ill get to be an awesome grandma (hopefully MANY years from now!!!) LOL
Post # 9
TheGridMonster : oooo heeeeyyyy babbbyyy!
NMom17 : OP I think the biggest thing is can you afford it? I love having babies in fact I could probably have another 12 more, but we just realistically can’t affordthat. And as hard as it is we could afford another but that’s it. So I don’t know how I would feel with a last pregnancy but I wouldn’t view it as that while you’re pregnant and instead focus and enjoy being pregnant again
Post # 10
Ugh, i feel this in so many ways! We have two littles (3yo and a just turned 1yo) and I’m not sure if my last pregnancy was my last. I’ve always wanted 3, but two makes more sense economically. Hubby is on the fence and I think could easily been done after two. I’m already 37 so time is ticking, however I’d like at least a two year gap between #2 & 3. I feel like if my current baby is my last, I wouldn’t have had the chance to really ‘savour’ the last anything. It just guts me if we are really done.
I too want another mat leave and more time at home with my kids like nothing else! Last night hubby and I were discussing next school year when DS#1 will enter kindergarten…he asked me what we will do then, if I’ll reduce work hours to do school dropoff/pickups. I said “I don’t know” but really in my head all I could think of was being home on anothe rmat leave with a new baby. I seriously would pop babies out forever if I could!
If this is your last, pregnancy I wish time would slow down for you and you get to bank every special memory. Luckily you’ll have twice the baby snuggles!