(Closed) Potential problem with friends gf

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 16
9391 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

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Kandykane :  ok so then.. why not invite her?  He wants to be with her, you don’t want him to break up with her, she will only be pleasant to other people at the wedding…

Post # 17
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You could tell him to stop running back to you and repeating everything his girlfriend says like a parrot. That would probably be better for your friendship than uninviting this woman.

Post # 18
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Invite her. If she gives your friend a ‘hard time’ that’s his problem to deal with, not yours. Your friend is creating this rift himself by repeating her confidences and reporting on their fights. Seriously who does that? No wonder she is possibly jealous, his loyalty doesn’t seem to lie with her.  

Post # 19
1242 posts
Bumble bee

She’s nice to your face and presumably vents to her partner in (what she mistakenly believes is) private. Doesn’t sound like she will cause a problem at your wedding…but *not* inviting her may cause a problem with her and/or your friend.

Post # 20
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

This is a triangulation of communication going on. He’s telling you things about what happens between them…what are you suppose to do with that information except form a negative image of her. She senses this snd starts becoming increasingly reactive. It’s his first relationship so maybe he’s not clear that he needs to work this out with her. 

I would invite her, and tell him to stop telling you these things because it’s not fair to you or her. There is nothing you can do to help solve their issues except remain neutral. 

Post # 21
486 posts
Helper bee

If your friend is constantly bitching about his gf to you, just imagine what he says to her about you. Anything you ever said about her will get repeated back out of context and exaggerated no doubt. All she hears is probably endless stories of mean things you said about her and how you don’t like them being together (whether that’s true or not). No wonder she doesn’t like you! 

Tell your friend to stop being such a gossip. If he doesn’t like his gf, he can dump her. He just wants you guys to feel sorry for him for some reason. 

Post # 22
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m sorry but you need to tell him that you don’t want to hear any more shit talking about his girlfriend. If you were a good friend you would be nipping that shit in the bud.

No wonder why she feels insecure around you. Whether you believe it or not it is obvious to me that you and your other friend give off the vibe that you know everything about your “little brother’s” relationship and probably act in that fashion.

The answer is yes definitely invite her to your wedding and stop worrying about their relationship. If he really hated her shit talking about you, he would break up with her. Seems like he’s secretly enjoying it. Eww. There nothing worse than a grown man who enjoys seeing females hating on one another. 

Post # 23
10080 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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Cheekie0077 :  

Seems like he’s secretly enjoying it. Eww.There nothing worse than a grown man who enjoys seeing females hating on one another

Good point. OP too, she seems very keen  to believe and defend him ,  even when it is petty and juvenile in the extreme. “She doesn’t like you and thinks you’re  mean”  FFS what is this, primary school?l   

Post # 24
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

He’s a crap boyfriend and a crap friend.

What does he think you’ll gain from hearing things she’s apparently said? 

If he has a problem with what she’s saying he needs to tell her, not you. 

Tell him to grow up. His relationship isn’t your business but your friendship is and I don’t know why you would want to be friends with someone that tells you this toxic crap.

And yes invite her

Post # 25
626 posts
Busy bee

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Kandykane :  I think the BF screwed this one up. He’s only giving you part of the story. Their fights could have nothing to do with you. She’s been nice to your face, so I’d forget what your friend says and give her the benefit of the doubt. I’d also tell the friend to stop reporting any little thing his Girlfriend says. There’s too much room for him to take her comments out of context, and it sounds like it’s turning people against her. 

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