(Closed) Potentially a touchy family issue re: the aisle?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@GreenDream: I wouldn’t think so. Are you worried about your dad being hurt you’re going solo, or the FI’s parents unhappy they weren’t involved?

Post # 5
Member
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@GreenDream: I can see why this might be touchy. I think that if your parents are part of the procession, his should to be, too. I don’t think that the procession is the place to try to indicate who is paying for the wedding–let that be taken care of by the invitation wording. Also remember that traditionally (as much as I hate this tradition and as outdated as it is), the bride’s parents pay for the wedding, so the fact that his parents aren’t contributing might not seem strange to them. 

I have a lot of brothers who’ve been married. If, at any of their weddings, the bride’s parents processed down the aisle but not my parents, it would have been a real slap in the face to them. I just don’t see this going well.  

Post # 6
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think if that is what you want you should go with it. 

It is unfortunate that your FI’s parents marriage didn’t work but weddings are a time to celebrate marriages and I think it would be perfectly acceptable for your parents to walk down together.  Especially because you are walking down by yourself.

I haven’t decided 100% yet but may have both my parents walk me down the aisle.   FI’s mum knows this and she hasn’t said anything about feeling left out at all.  In my opinion that is sort of the same as what you want to do! 

Post # 7
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Typically speaking the 2 sets of parents are escorted to their seats last of everyone anyway, with the brides side going dead last. 

Are you talking about actually having just your parents (but not his) walk in to the same music as the rest of the bridal party?  If so, I’d agree with a previous poster in that I think that’s not going to go over well.  I wouldn’t seperate them out like that.  

If you are just concerned because they are divorced (and would probably be walking seperately to their respective seats) and your parents aren’t (and would be walking together), I wouldn’t worry about that.  I seriously doubt they would care what another couple does.

My dad walked me down the aisle, so I know my situation is different then yours, but I also had both sets of parents included in the wedding by doing a unity candle ceremony and having both the dads and moms light the respective candles.  

 

Post # 8
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

How does your Fiance feel about this idea?  It’s 50% his wedding too.  My in-laws didn’t contribute anything to the wedding (literally), but we chose to treat them the same way that we treated my parents.  It got rid of a lot of stress and tension that wasn’t necessary.  Also, at least in my case, my in-laws didn’t think it was their responsibility to contribute, especially because traditionally the bride’s parents take care of the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

Contributing financially should have nothing to do with who walks down the aisle. They ALL do to get to their seats. They can walk in with their respective spouses with your parents being the last to enter, and really, that’s how it should be.

Post # 10
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have never been to a wedding where the grooms parents did not walk down the aisle. I do not think the ceremony is where you should be indicating who helped fund the wedding. This would just create unecessary drama.

Post # 11
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

I think it might seem strange for one set of parents to walk in procession but not the other. They have to get to their seats somehow, and it might be awkward to have them take their seats before the procession if your parents are walking in it (especially if they aren’t even escorting you). I agree with the other posters that said the invitation is the place to reflect who is paying, not the procession.

The fact that they are divorced doesn’t seem like it  would matter… they can just walk separately, or you could have each of them be escorted by their current spouse if they are remarried, or by a sibling or other relative.

You should go with your instinct that it is playing with fire.. there is definitely room for hurt feelings there.

Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I dont think it would be that big of a deal for you to walk down by yourself if thats really what you want to do. But I do think that its really rude not to have his parents in the processional. Both sets of parents and maybe even grandparents should be in!! Even if they are not contributing They are still a part of the day and are now your family!! But thats just my opinion.

Post # 13
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with PP I don’t think its right to just have your parents walk down the aisle. That isn’t the time to show who is paying its supposed to show who is the parents. And honestly, if I just saw brides parents walk down the aisle I wouldn’t think oh they must have paid. So if thats what you’re going for I think the message will be lost anyways.

Post # 14
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree w/ smyley – have each one of your FI’s parents walk down w/ their respective spouses.

Post # 15
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you are asking if it would be taboo to have just your parents walk down the aisle but not his.  That would strike me as odd. 
Traditional its grandparents, his parents (together or not, get the mom an usher) your mom with an usher, wedding party, then you with your dad.  Obviously you’re parents can walk down together and you can walk alone but to exclude his parents seems off-putting.  Walking down the aisle is supposed to signify the important people in your life, not who paid.

Post # 16
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My SO only has one parent and it is his mother, so at the end we will have an usher seat her at the front and then last an usher will seat my mother with her. My dad will meet them at the front seats after her has walked me down the isle.  I dont think it should favour who paid for it at all. My mother will be sat last because she is mother of the bride. And then the wedding ceremony actually starts with bridemaids and groomsmen walking down the isle but it wont be the same music most likely…

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