(Closed) Potentially awkward situation with uninvited friend – how to deal?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
4059 posts
Honey bee

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JessieFay13:  I don’t mean this in a nasty/rude way, but I honestly doubt they’ll care. I think you’re reading too much into it. If you aren’t very close with them, I don’t think they’d be expecting an invite and I don’t think they will care or be offended about the fact that they aren’t invited.

If someone mentions the STDs I would simply respond to that person based off of whatever comment they made and move on. If this couple does seem upset or does ask about it, I would simply be honest with them. 

Post # 3
538 posts
Busy bee

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JessieFay13:  Personally I’d find this super awkward, but that is probably because I don’t know what it’s like to have a lot of people in the grey area between acquaintance and good friend.

Hopefully PP is right that they just wouldn’t care. The only other thing I can think of is that you could also ask some of the people who are most likely to bring it up just not to mention it.

Obviously they will find out they aren’t invited eventually, but I get that you just don’t want them to feel singled out at this particular event.

Post # 4
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

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JessieFay13:  I get why you feel awkward but if you aren’t super close to these people AND you haven’t seen them in a year, don’t worry about it too much. I don’t think you have to say anything at all to them unless they are rude enough to ask you about it at which point you just say you had to limit the number of people, unfortunately, and are sad you weren’t able to invite them. Only a REALLY rude person would then bitch about how everyone else was invited and once they are being that rude you don’t have to be super sweet about it anymore and just say “Sorry you’re sad about it.” and walk away.

Post # 5
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I would try not to worry about it too much. They probably feel the same way about you as you said you only see each other a couple of times and year. If it is brought up and you feel a bit awkward about discussing it try and focus the attention on the other people attending the dinner and ask what they’ve been up to and say you’re fed up talking about weddings.

If they push it and are rude enough to bring it up in front of you then just say you had to limit the number of guests you invited because of the venue capactiy and move on to another subject. Don’t worry it will all be fine 🙂

Post # 6
298 posts
Helper bee

I get why you’re worried, but I think you’re over thinking it.  They are just as aware that they haven’t seen you in close to a year, and that they aren’t your close friend.  Also of if someone mentions the STD it doesn’t mean that this couple will suddenly figure out that they are the only ones without one.  You’ll be fine, relax and enjoy seeing your friends!

Post # 7
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I highly doubt they will care. I wouldn’t worry about this at all. 

Post # 8
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yea, this can be awkward. Most people would understand not being invited, but not everyone evaluates relationships the same way. I would just try to steer the conversation away from the wedding/STDs. It’s awkward to briefly bring it up, but it could be really uncomfortable for the couple who’s not invited if everyone starts talking about how excited they are or asking questions about an event they aren’t invited to. As long as you shut that down I think you’ll be fine.

Post # 9
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

They will probably think their STD was sent to their home address, and as such they wouldn’t have received it yet. That’s assuming that they will believe that they are invited.

They may be relieved not to be invited if your wedding is in another country to where they live -attending a wedding in another country means taking time off work, travel, expense, etc.

Post # 11
9399 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ve been that couple before.. its fine.  I got it: Fiance and I didn’t invite them either.  The awkwardness wasn’t because I was upset I wasn’t invited.. it was just I had nothing to add to the conversation if it was about group transport (like above) or about bridesmaids dresses etc.. Like I could ask polite questions but pretty quickly I was just standing there awkwardly while they chatted.

So really.. I think its just that your friends talking about the transport were rude, unless the not invited couple didn’t say anything at all to let them know.

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