(Closed) Potluck Wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What do you think of the idea of a "potluck wedding"
    Sure, sounds fun! It would be like a family get together! : (34 votes)
    18 %
    Guests should not be providing their own dinner and drinks at a wedding. : (71 votes)
    39 %
    It might be okay for some weddings, depending on the formality, ect. : (78 votes)
    42 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    IMO, if you want to have a family get together, have a family get together – it’s really not appropriate for a wedding. That said, if your budget is tight, and your social circle is very casual, I can see how it could be ok.

    Post # 4
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Seriously tacky. Unless it is  small, family only wedding asking guests to contribute to their own meal and drink is very bad form. If one cannot afford to feed their guests they should consider a cake/punch reception or a much smaller number of guests.


    Post # 5
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I’m personally not a big fan of a potluck wedding.  I understand some people are on very tight budgets, but I still think there are other options brides can consider to make it work without asking guests to bring something.  I saw one bride just had a “dessert reception” that only featured sweets, some of which she made, some of which she ordered.  Other’s have done just appetizers.  For drinks, I think you could do a cash bar to cut down on costs, and just provide soda and water (which is fairly inexpensive), and maybe have a signature drink (either alcoholic or non-alocholic). 

    If you ask people to bring a dish for the potluck, you also have to worry about the cleanliness of their kitchen, and what actually went into the dish.  It would be so aweful if many of your guests got food poisening or something to follow the reception!

    But this is just one bees opinion. 🙂  Hope this helps!

    Post # 6
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think it’s ok if it’s a smaller wedding. A friend of mine is having one and I thought it wasa great idea. Our community is close knit and we usually do potlucks for church events so everyone knows what they’re going to bring

    Post # 7
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If there’s no way around it, okay, but their dish that they bring is also their gift. Asking guests to provide their own drinks (regardless of whether they’re alcoholic or not) is totally not cool in my book.

    Post # 9
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    “Male” coworkers is the key word here. They have no clue. Even my own Fiance, who is very bright and knew what was involved in a wedding, was still surrised at the cost of some things and the amount of planning and he went into it knowing a small wedding was going to be at least 10 K ormore.

    Post # 10
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    I think its totally OK as long as its obviously a budget wedding. Dont ask your guests to bring things if you are going to Aruba for the honeymoon, wearing an expensive dress and having it in an expensive location.


    Post # 11
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I was actually just talking to a co-worker who had a potluck wedding BUT they did it because a) she and her hubby had just moved to a new country, so cash was short, b) they were trying to get hitched before his grandma took a turn for the worse so it was extremely rushed and c) they didn’t have a lot of family to entertain (I think it ended up being none of her family, and only his mom and grandma) so it was mostly friends. But they also didn’t buy wedding bands or any of that stuff – they’re pretty untraditional.

    Any way, their wedding sounded sweet and she still talks about it as the best day ever, so I voted that it’s okay for some weddings depending on the formality.

    Post # 12
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    tacky. unless it’s like a super small 25 person wedding where everyone knows each other and that sort of thing is custom in that neighborhood. outside of that, i just don’t see why anyone would bother inviting guests to a reception. “pot luck reception” doesnt really make sense in a sentence together even. Even more classless if bride and groom expect any sort of wedding gift on top of that.

    Post # 13
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It’s not something I would do, but I don’t think just because it’s a “wedding” people shouldn’t do it, if it works for the couple and their family they should enjoy themselves and go for it. Although I would be too paranoid about having a few people bring gross or dishes that aren’t that tasty!

    Post # 14
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No, if the couple can’t afford to host then they should just elope. 

    ETA: Maybe that’s harsh but honestly I would be annoyed if someone invited me to their ‘wedding’ and asked me to bring a dish. I know that most people would not go into debt for a wedding but if all I had to do was spend a few grand to feed my guests I would. I have been asked to pay for my dinner at a wedding before and I found it incredibly rude. To me this is essentially the same thing.

    Post # 15
    5221 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Honestly, it is not my first choice ( for my own wedding)… but there are worse things and other “breeches” of etiquette that I think can go in the ” thats worse” category.

    Like a PP mentioned about a quick get together before a family member takes a turn for the worst, and things of the nature. I think it would be OK.

    I personally wouldn’t be offended if someone had a potluck wedding and invited me, but I am super hard to upset in the first place lol, so I probably wouldn’t even think twice about it.

    Post # 16
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Can we knock off the use of the word tacky, guys?

    Giving your opinion is all good, but please remember that there are bees who have had/are having a potluck wedding on the boards.


    I don’t have a problem with them and I actually think for a smaller, more intimate wedding, they are really sweet and family oriented and thats what weddings are all about. Obviously, if you have a ton of cash to spend and are choosing to spend it on everything else but a meal for your guests, than that seems a bit selfish.

    But if you are on a tight budget, I think it realls gives a nice way for family to come out and support you, perhaps more literally than most weddings 😉 If I were to have one, I would supply drinks and maybe a main course and have the guests bring sides/desserts. With the size of my guestlist now and the *ahem* quality of my relationships with some of the guests, I would feel weird hosting a potluck gathering. But if the sitation were different and my Fiance and I had to pay for everything ourselves and our guestlist was a third of what it is now, I would have considered this.



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