(Closed) Potluck Wedding?

• TwoCityBride
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: April 2013

Honestly don’t get why people get upset, just turn down the invite if you are offended, and I have multiple times for weddings and other events.

• chasesgirl
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: December 2011

I think it depends on who was asking me. A close family member or one of my best friends? Totally would break up the cassarole dishes. A sort of ish friend? Not so much. And I do agree about it needing to fit the rest of your wedding. If you have a 10k diamond on your hand, are wearing a multi-thousand dollar dress and going to the Bahamas for your Honeymoon, yeah, I’m gonna side eye you for exspecting me to bring food. I really also think it depends on your social group. I am a good ole’ southern girl Baptist, we potluck EVERYTHING, so it would be less weird to me than some East Coast socialte I think. 

• les105
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: May 2012

I agree that I think it depends who you are asking to bring dishes & the formality of your wedding. Lots of women here ask their moms & grandmas to bring desserts, so that in a way is partially “pot luck”. I think the host should still provide everything he/she can, but if someone needs a little help from family to pull the whole thing off, I don’t see the big deal. Now, inviting 300 guests & asking your mom’s best friend’s boyfriend’s daughter in law to bring a roast might be out of hand.

• orchid84
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

I personally would refuse to eat at a potluck wedding. I wouldn’t want to eat any food that came from kitchens I have not seen. Plus I would be afraid of getting food poisoning with having people drive to the wedding with food in their cars- who knows how long some of it sat out or was not kept at the proper temp!

• Katnisseverdeen
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: August 2012

@les105:  Agree

• Mrs. Meowerson
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: May 2012

These really exist?  I kind of just thought it was a joke! lol

• hopefloats
• 9 years ago

I think it’s realllyy tacky. 

• garden_bride
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: October 2009

nopee

• lunathea
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the fact that it depends on your relationship with the couple and as long as they’re not going to the Bahamas afterward it’s fine.

I think the word tacky is getting used too often on the bee as of  late. It’s starting to remind me o the knot forums.  We need to keep in mind that not everyone can spare thousands of dollars (or even hundreds) on a wedding.

That being said a friend of mine had a courthouse ceremony and a potluck reception.  There were no rings, no honeymoon, nothing on the tables (except maybe streamers) because they didn’t care about all that.  They were in love and wanted to celebrate that fact with their family and friends.  There was no bridal shower and the invites said “please no gifts, we would appreciate if you could bring a dish to share though!”.

I didn’t think twice about bringing a dish (I also got them a gift) because my first thought wasn’t “oh that’s so lame I have to bring a dish” it was “yay they’re gettin married!”

• kittyface
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: March 2013

@Roe:  “Can we knock off the use of the word tacky, guys? Giving your opinion is all good, but please remember that there are bees who have had/are having a potluck wedding on the boards.”

Second this.

I went to one a couple of years ago – 35 graduate students in a basement apartment, doing a potluck and (omg!) byob wedding reception for our friends who got married. I know the couple who did it wouldn’t change a thing and honestly? I was too busy celebrating and supporting the wedding of two friends to care if it’s not how things ‘should’ be.

• lionskitty
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s great! If…

1) it’s a small wedding and you know everyone really well as in family and close friends only

2) it’s a low budget, casual-ish wedding

3) the food is the gift

I’m planning on 30-40 people and maybe asking the family to get together and make the food ourselves (labour of love=awesome gift) but I’m planning on buying the ingredients (but if I didn’t want so much control over the food I’d do a regular potluck in a heartbeat) and supplying basic drinks (probably soft drinks, beer and sangria) but I’m toying with the idea of people bringing their own liquor if they want since I don’t think I’ll be able to provide a full bar, there’s no way it’s in the budget. But I’m planning a small, family and close friend only wedding, in a backyard, with DIY grocery store flowers and a knock-off dress, lol, so I don’t think people would be offended.

ANYONE who says it’s outright tacky is a snob in my opinion, and I wouldn’t want anyone like that at my wedding looking down their up-turned nose at me. Sorry, I think it’s rude. If it was a big fancy wedding or you’re taking off on an expensice honeymoon, then yes, it would not be cool, but for a loving get-together of family and friends it’s perfect.

• UpstateCait
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: October 2011

Some of the comments on this thread are pretty rude. It’s okay to not agree with what someone does but don’t refer to them as “classless” or anything of the like. Maybe potlucks are common in certain circles. *shrugs*

• blueskies7
• 9 years ago

• Wedding: September 2013

@lionskitty: @Roe: @lunathea: As I mentioned above, it is slightly different if it’s a 20 person/neighborhood thing…and if the couple didn’t request gifts, that’s even better. But outside of that, I do think it’s tacky…and I should be allowed to say that I think it’s tacky. I have been told that my wedding is extravagant and indulgent and that my wedding budget could feed many children/pay for someone’s house, etc…. but I don’t take that personally. The coin flips both ways. It’s a public forum and everyone has an opinion. As long as you don’t personally attack someone, saying you find something tacky in response to a general poll should be perfectly allowed. If anythng, @lionskitty:‘s response, saying “anyone who calls it outright tacky is a snob” is sort of a personal attack, bc it directly refers to those of us that thought it was tacky. My response was to the general poll. But it doesn’t matter because once again, it’s a public forum.