(Closed) Power struggle rant

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i understand. i haven’t had that many issues, but even having one makes you cringe.  like this is MY wedding, i can do how and what i want.  its really frustrating.. i have actually come to realize that weddings are not just about the bride and groom as much as we would like them to be.  everyone here has a story about someone in their family or bridal party causing them undue stress because they don’t like how something is being done.  and i seriously do not get it.  i just say you stick to your guns and do what YOU want (as long your Fiance is on board! – that is the only person i think its acceptable to negotiate with!)

Post # 4
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I understand your frustration.  But you know what…take some time..looks as though you aren’t getting married until 2014…hold off until at least next spring to start thinking about it.  No where does it say you have to hammer out the details in the first month.  

Sit back..relax..breath..and enjoy your engagement 🙂

Post # 6
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I was a lot like you when i first started planning.  I am a second time bride and my Fiance is a first timer!  I wanted Las Vegas or Hawaii on the beach and 25 people!  He wanted a biggish wedding… We compromised, but his mom still ended up with about half the guest list!  The two of us along with my parents are fitting most of the bill.  It was a struggle, but there are somethings that aren’t worth fighting over… My advice is compromise a little here to get what you want in another area!   Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Even if you aren’t footing the bill for your wedding, I do think that your mom needs to honor your wishes for the size of your guest list.  I think it’s important for you to tell her that you wanted a courthouse wedding, and you ARE compromising by even agreeing to 75 people.  Maybe she’s not aware that you have already given a little ground.  Also, you do have plenty of time to iron out details, but the size of your guest list can determine your location and the location sets the stage for decorations, catering, your dress choice, and everything else.  So this IS a good time to iron out the details.  You may consider looking at venues and finding a venue which will only hold 75 people anyway, then you’d have more ammunition for why your mom should compromise as well.

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