(Closed) ppl added numbers to rsvp cards!!!!! super p/o! :(

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can’t believe so many people did that.  Good for you for phoning and shutting them down.  Just say that the wedding is already planned and you unfortunately can’t accomodate extra guests.

Post # 4
522 posts
Busy bee

Stay firm!!!

“I’m sorry but we cannot add any more guests to the venue. The number we invited is our maximum”That’s what I’d say and I’d repeat it ad nauseum.

Don’t be afraid that you’re being rude for shutting them down. They’re the rude ones for inviting plus ones when they shouldn’t and asking your dad to pay for their plane tickets!

In your place I’d be tempted to uninvite all the troublemakers.

Also, you should probably have ushers in place with the EXACT invite list who can turn away any +1s who do show up on your big day.

Post # 5
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

Ugh. People suck. Stay strong and be firm or else they will walk all over you. Give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. Keep on the way you are and it will be okay.

Post # 6
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

oh, man, that SUCKS. Good for you for sticking to your guns. I’m extra glad I got people to RSVP online – because there was no option for them to add “extras”!  If they wanted to bring someone, they had to ask me directly, so I could say yes or no, and they couldn’t be all sneaky like that by subtly adding extra numbers  (5 EXTRA PEOPLE!?! pleeaaaaase, that’s ridiculous!!)

Big families are hard. I’m sorry they aren’t being more understanding! But it sounds like you’re on the right track to keep your wedding the vision (and budget) you intended.

Post # 10
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@SunshineLovin:  STAND. YOUR. GROUND. It’s your choice to include children or not. As long as you’re not telling someone not to bring their FI/spouse, you’re fine. People are so ballsy with their rudeness.

Post # 11
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As strange as it sounds for a “family” Wedding… at 21 possible extras it sounds to me like you need a Doorman (or an Usher as someone else suggested) to check who’s coming in.

Be strong, and know you are doing the right thing.  As the Host you do have the right to choose what type of event you are holding, and who is (and isn’t) invited.

Phone calls are certainly the way to set the record straight.  And yes it sucks that soooo many people in the world can be so clueless / RUDE.

— — —

As an aside…

I haven’t seen Reception Cards used in ages (they still exist, but are used pretty extensively by just Celebrities and such these days) … but this is certainly one case when they might have come in handy (you need to have a Reception Card that you present to get into the Venue)

Sadly tho, with these types of family situations, you never can tell ahead of time.

Hang in there… this the worst part of Wedding Planning will be over soon.


Post # 13
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had a child-free wedding, and I think the best way to handle family members being difficult about it is to stick to your guns and keep repeating, “While we would absolutely love to host all of you, we unfortunately do not have the room in our budget nor the space in our venue to accomodate everyone plus their children/SOs, etc.” 


If they keep arguing, repeat it. You don’t have a fairy godmother who can wave her wand and make your space bigger or your wallet fuller, and they don’t need to know any other reasons you may have decided to invite who you did. If they still don’t get it, well, it’s their choice to attend or not. If they’re going to be childish about it on social media, there’s nothing to be done about it either, so just ignore it.


Make sure to call everyone who has added extra guests and make sure they confirm that they understand. It can also help to enlist a family member to help make the calls, both because it saves you some time and because people might be less willing to argue with, say, your mother.

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