Post # 1
We are writing our own “prayers of the faithful” for our Catholic ceremony. If you don’t know what those are here is a good description:http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/prayers-faithful.htm
Basically we can pray for whatever and I would like to include something about marriage equality without it being obviously about gay marriage. The Catholic church isn’t real supportive of that and we are marrying in a very conservative church, I don’t want to get in any trouble but do want to include something that is important to us.
If anyone is good with words I would appreciate the help!
Here are some ideas so far, but none of them seem quite right.
For all who have found a partner, we pray that they can find their way to marriage like Matt and Meghan.
For those that have found love in their lives, we pray that they have the courage and the ability to make a commitment like Matt and Meghan are making today.
For those kept apart by injustice, we pray that the ignorance that separates them are exposed to the enlightenment of gods love.
Post # 3
I think the first two would be good, but the third one is pretty obvious and I don’t know if your priest would say it.
Post # 4
Good for you girl! As a Catholic as well, I think this is a great idea. I like the second one best.
Post # 5
I like the 2nd one as well. What an amazing gesture.
Post # 6
we said our prayers of the faithful and did this with ours. we said “for all those joined in love throughout the world, may they…” blahblahblah i can’t remember, you get the gist!
Post # 7
Thanks for the ideas!
@elliestan: I would love to know how yours ended, the ending is what I am struggling with. I don’t want it to be so obvious but I also don’t want the meaning to be lost on everyone…
In my search I found this site, which is very cool: http://catholicsformarriageequality.net/about
Which led me to this beautiful quote: God is Love and all who love, live in God.
So now I have this, is it appropriate?
For all those who have found love that they will be afforded the right to celebrate their love, because God is Love and all who love, live in God.
Post # 8
@meginstl: no prob, i found a copy of it on my computer! i had a shout out in there to my brother & his fiancee, so you would just ignore that part. you could say “commit themselves to each other” or “make a lifelong commitment” instead of marry if you want to keep it ambiguous.
For all couples joined in love throughout the world, and for those preparing to marry – especially (Brother) and (Brother’s Fiancee). May their love and devotion to one another be strengthened. We pray to the Lord.
Post # 9
I think that is so sweet of you.
Post # 10
Any opinions on what I posted above?
For all those who have found love, we pray that they will be afforded the right to celebrate their love, because God is Love and all who love, live in God.
Post # 11
Can I ask why you are having a Catholic wedding if you disagree with the Church’s fundamental moral teachings regarding marriage? Please don’t take this personally, but it would seem rather unkind and disrespectful to do this in a house of worship during a religious ceremony. I am sure the pastor would not appreciate it, at all, and if you have any Catholic-believing guests they may be VERY offended by your choice of platform as well. Especially as it is a fairly conservative parish. If you wish to express the sentiment, that’s fine but choose a different platform. A toast or speech at your reception perhaps.
Perhaps the most authentic, and respectful, choice would be to not have a Catholic wedding at all, as you do not agree with the Catholic understanding of marriage.
But I have to say in general it’s a good idea to avoid pairing political statements with weddings. Unless you have a truly monochrome guest list, you will be in the company of people coming from a beautiful diversity, a rainbow of religious and philosophical backgrounds, and a good hostess of course would strive to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings or coming off self-rightous.
Especially at a wedding which is about joining people together and not dividing them into “people who think the right way” and “people who think the wrong way.” Other “issues” which typically divide more than they unite people include pro-life, pro-choice, sexual choices in general, financial choices, electoral politics and so forth. The old rule about not discussing politics, sex, or money at a social event transfers well to wedding planning.
Perhaps you could privately give a donation to a pro-gay marriage charity in honor of you wedding? I’m concerned you might make some of your guests feel very unwelcome, besides the issue of disrespect to the Church. I’m sure you mean well and I’m sure there is a way to incorporate this if it is very important to you.
Post # 12
@Magdalena: this. Very well written, Magdalena.
That being said, I’m also a terrible Catholic, who is having a Catholic ceremony- but it seems off to me, adding that to the prayer of the faithful (though I agree with it 100% and do think it is sweet of you).
I think that it’s okay if you have a more modern view about certain things than the church would be comfortable with, but I don’t think it’s okay to be deceptive about it and use tricky wording to stick it in a prayer.
I really like Magdalena’s suggestion that you highlight a particular organization during some aspect of your reception, I think it would be more appropriate there.
Post # 13
@meginstl: i think the one you posted is a little too in your face, tbh. i’d pull it back because the way it’s written it will definitely raise some eyebrows and adding that line makes it kind of a tongue twister too! go back to the sentiments of what you want to pray for, not the legalities.
Post # 14
@Magdalena: Fair question, we “chose” a Catholic wedding because I had to choose my battles and that one wasn’t even worth touching. I put chose in quotes because it was always just assumed we would be married in the church so it was never really a choice. I know it is our day and all that good stuff but some things just are not worth rocking the boat over. I think the Catholic ceremony is beautiful and both Fiance and I were raised Catholic so it is a huge part of who we are and our culture. Since this day is essentially about love and marriage it is important to us to include personalization and our beliefs.
As I said before I don’t want to simply say “we pray that gay marriage is legalized” because we don’t want to offend. If we say it right, the older people won’t get it and that is fine. Those that do understand won’t be offended and will appreciate it.
Personally, I think making a specific announcement at the reception will offend more people than a two sentence semi-ambiguous prayer at the ceremony. It fits in with what is going on during that part of the ceremony, it won’t really flow during the reception. We aren’t doing a speech or any sort of announcement at the reception so it would be pretty obvious if we brought it up then.
The point of the prayers are to pray for things that are important, poverty, hunger, homelessness, war, the sick, the dead, etc. This is important to us. We are also including a prayer about pro-life meaning many things, protecting our environment, abolishing the death penalty, caring for the sick, etc, because that too is important to us. This is one of the few personalizations I am able to make at the ceremony so I would like to do it. I am sending these to the deacon ahead of time so it isn’t really deceitful, if he doesn’t like it he can say no.
Post # 15
I hope not to offend with my comment, but please reconsider what you are doing.
The Catholic Church is completely against same-sex marriage, therefore it would inappropriate to include such a prayer within the sacred space of a Catholic church. Personal agendas and politics do not belong in the sacred space. Even though the sentiment is ambiguous, the real meaning of it is contrary to Church teaching, At this point I don’t think anyone can to convince you otherwise, but it is simply incorrect to include this intention within the context of a Catholic ceremony.
Post # 16
@Magdalena: You can still agree with the Church while still maintaining that the gov’t should not be legislating in regards to a religious ceremony. I 100% support gay marriage b/c it’s not our gov’ts job to dictate who can and can’t marry. Gov’t marriage does not equal religious marriage in my opinion.