- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
This isn’t wedding related but their isn’t a family section in the Not Wedding Related side.
It has been the WORST week ever! Saturday my gma was taken by ambulance because she fell out of bed. They said her sodium levels were nearly depleted so they admitted her to ICU. Later that day they moved her to a telemetry floor. Sunday my mom and my brother went up to check on her and she was fine. She looked pale but was sitting in bed and talking. Yesterday my mom went up to see her and when she got there she was not responsive and they had a crash cart in there. They took her back to ICU. My mom stayed with her and while she was sitting there gma had two grand mal seizures. They gave her doses of Keppra and Ativan. The one nurse said the seizures were from the low sodium, the neurologist said no it was something else. When I walked into her room yesterday my heart sank. She was all crippled up and had her eyes closed adn her mouth was wide open. Her left side was droopy. She would open her eyes a bit and blink but it was as if nothing was behind those eyes. She was not responsive at all. I had my 6 month old with me and he was making sounds and it looked like she would look at him. I held her hand and asked her to squeeze it and she wouldn’t/couldn’t. They were going to a carotid ultrasound because the CT didn’t show anything. The one dr thinks she had a stroke.
Today my mom went back up and she was told by the neurologist that they are going to do an MRI adn that they have my gma in an induced coma so her brain can rest. They did an EEG also. Before my mom got up there, gma had a couple more seizures.
This can’t be happening. She can’t go anywhere yet. She promised to show me how to make her chocolate dessert and BBQ sauce. She has only known my son for 6 months. She can’t go anywhere yet. I am not ready to let her go. I don’t want her to suffer but I am selfish and I want her here. I need to be able to call her and check on her and hear her voice.
I know she doesn’t want to suffer and would rather pass away with her dignity still intact. They put a G tube in her nose to feed her. She would not like all this. She has a DNR order. My mom is so strong. It’s her mother and she went thru this when my gpa died too. My mom is the power of attorney for gma.
I almost wonder if gma hasn’t just given up. My gpa died almost 30 years ago and her oldest sister just passed away and all her friends are passing away. She is home alone but my mom, brother and I stop in all the time. She has meals on wheels come everyday adn a visiting nurse 2 times a week and her priest comes every week to deliver communion.
Please, I can’t lose her yet. I am selfish. I am not ready to let go.