Post # 46
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
echo86 : it’s gonna be really hard but you can get over it. You can move forward, but only if you don’t close yourself off or lock yourself away. It will be hard to trust again, but my motto is, “trust but verify.”
I think he did this crap through your whole relationship. You just don’t dive into spending thousands on strippers. Please get the std test.
Post # 47
I’m so proud of you bee. We are here for you
Post # 48
Yes! You’ve got this bee! Come back here when you need more support. Hugs!
Post # 49
well done that you found the strength to leave him and didnt fall for his sob stories and manipulation!!
it will take time for you to heal, dont rush into anything. cry, let it all out. try to release the pain youre feeling but dont lock yourself away.
Post # 50
Thank you everyone. Reading your posts throughout the day pushed me into ripping off the bandaid. This is day 1 without him. I’m waiting for my mom to come here later. I still haven’t stopped sobbing but I feel better that Ive made my final decision.
Post # 51
echo86 : Proud of you bee, you deserve so much more… your perfect love will come and he will never hurt you <3
Post # 52
This, exactly this. A healthy, mature adult male does not feel driven to exploit women.
Every extramarital sexual contact to which he has confessed was exploitive of the women involved. None of this qualifies as an affair or an inappropriate relationship. Those would still be wrong, but those kinds of interactions are based on at least a degree of mutuality.
All of this guy’s extramarital carrying on required the denigration of women. Paying for sex is not normal. We can probably make allowances for drunken soldiers on their first leave in six months. But, even those guys often admit years later to feelings of shame.
Not so, OP’s husband. Women are put on earth to be objects for his amusement. The “relationships” he has with the massage women are more honest and authentic than the one with his wife.
Post # 53
Absolutely brilliant, Bee!
It doesn’t feel like it now, but this is the day that you reclaimed your life and your freedom. Make a note of the date.
You will grieve, but not for the loss of your husband. He’s trash. You’ll be mourning for the man you thought he was and the life you believed you were going to have.
Let it happen. It will come in waves and it will never be more than you can handle.
One foot in front of the other. One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes, one minute or second at a time.
Traumatic bonds are harder to break than healthy ones. I suggest The Betrayal Bond, by Patrick Carnes, PhD.
Post # 54
echo86 : it’s not going to be easy but every day you’re going to get stronger and feel better. Just do what you need to get through each day. Thank yourself for standing up for yourself and find a good support system or even a counselor. You have so many emotions and feelings to work through. An activity like running or yoga could also be a good distraction and help you build confidence. Sign up for a 5k or volunteer at a local non profit.
Post # 55
echo86 : So proud of you bee! I know it’s painful and you’re mourning what you thought your life would be like, but now you have the amazing opportunity to spend more time with your family and friends, and build a MUCH better life than you would have had with your soon to be ex.
Post # 56
Good for you. You are young, you have time to grieve this relationship, get past it and heal. Then if you want to, meet someone else and start again.