Praying for help on a broken marriage

posted 7 months ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

echo86 :  it’s gonna be really hard but you can get over it. You can move forward,  but only if you don’t close yourself off or lock yourself away. It will be hard to trust again, but my motto is, “trust but verify.”

I think he did this crap through your whole relationship.  You just don’t dive into spending thousands on strippers. Please get the std test. 

Post # 47
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m so proud of you bee. We are here for you 

Post # 48
Member
1852 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes! You’ve got this bee! Come back here when you need more support. Hugs! 

Post # 49
Member
8 posts
Newbee

well done that you found the strength to leave him and didnt fall for his sob stories and manipulation!!

it will take time for you to heal, dont rush into anything. cry, let it all out. try to release the pain youre feeling but dont lock yourself away.

xxx

Post # 51
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

echo86 :  Proud of you bee, you deserve so much more… your perfect love will come and he will never hurt you <3

Post # 52
Member
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Tatum :  

This, exactly this. A healthy, mature adult male does not feel driven to exploit women. 

Every extramarital sexual contact to which he has confessed was exploitive of the women involved. None of this qualifies as an affair or an inappropriate relationship. Those would still be wrong, but those kinds of interactions are based on at least a degree of mutuality.

All of this guy’s extramarital carrying on required the denigration of women. Paying for sex is not normal. We can probably make allowances for drunken soldiers on their first leave in six months. But, even those guys often admit years later to feelings of shame.

Not so, OP’s husband. Women are put on earth to be objects for his amusement. The “relationships” he has with the massage women are more honest and authentic than the one with his wife.

Post # 53
Member
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

echo86 :  

Absolutely brilliant, Bee!

It doesn’t feel like it now, but this is the day that you reclaimed your life and your freedom.  Make a note of the date.

You will grieve, but not for the loss of your husband. He’s trash. You’ll be mourning for the man you thought he was and the life you believed you were going to have. 

Let it happen. It will come in waves and it will never be more than you can handle.

One foot in front of the other.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes, one minute or second at a time.

Traumatic bonds are harder to break than healthy ones.  I suggest The Betrayal Bond, by Patrick Carnes, PhD.

Post # 54
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee

echo86 :  it’s not going to be easy but every day you’re going to get stronger and feel better. Just do what you need to get through each day. Thank yourself for standing up for yourself and find a good support system or even a counselor. You have so many emotions and feelings to work through. An activity like running or yoga could also be a good distraction and help you build confidence. Sign up for a 5k or volunteer at a local non profit. 

Post # 55
Hostess
3739 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

echo86 :  So proud of you bee!  I know it’s painful and you’re mourning what you thought your life would be like, but now you have the amazing opportunity to spend more time with your family and friends, and build a MUCH better life than you would have had with your soon to be ex.  

Post # 56
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Good for you. You are young, you have time to grieve this relationship, get past it and heal. Then if you want to, meet someone else and start again.

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