- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Sorry, this is a bit long!
A few weeks ago my fiance and I went to pre-cana, which is in short, a class that you need to take in order to get married in a Catholic church.
Most of it was OK, aside from the weird questions about how we like to be touched! haha. Anyway, there seemed to be this common theme with the main couples that were talking to us. Fighting.
They were very redundant in saying that “if you don’t fight with your SO then there is something wrong with your relationship.“
OK. Now, don’t get me wrong, my fiance and I don’t agree on everything, but after dating for almost two years we don’t fight at all. Any disagreement we may have is usually solved within 20 minutes through talking, and sometimes agreeing to disagree.
Granted that’s not to say that we won’t have little tiffs here and there, but for them to say that “if you don’t get into fights or get angry, you’re not communicating enough” is a bit insulting to me. My fiance and I are VERY open about everything, money, family, careers, and so on, to the point were we don’t need to fight about it because we don’t keep any sort of frustrations inside.
My fiance comes from a family that was always open and honest and there was very little fighting, so he’s fairly easy-going. I come from a family that openly fights and yells and makes each other miserable, and I HATE that, so I try to use what I’ve seen with my family and avoid that behavior.
Am I nuts? Should we be fighting? I really think it’s a stupid thing for me to ask, but it’s just very strange that this was one of the biggest things covered during pre-cana. Everyone has their own ways to deal with disagreements, and fighting isn’t the only answer? Don’t mind me, just venting.
(It’s also not to say that people can’t fight, I just wish they would be a little more open to those who deal with problems in a different way than what they think to be the norm.)