(Closed) Pre-Cana Experience: Misinformation on Birth Control

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow! I’m so sorry you went through that – how awful. Our pre-Cana experience (including the NFP methods course we took) didn’t include anything like that – obviously the church’s teachings are her teachings, but bad science and scare tactics have absolutely no place in any discussion about birth control/NFP. Have you thought about sending a letter to the diocese letting them know how offensive and disappointing this was? 

Post # 3
852 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry you experienced that. Neither my NFP classes or pre marriage weekend included anything about the link of cancer and contraceptives. I hope your weekend didn’t completely turn you off from NFP. There are actually different types of it and it has been wonderful for my husband and I. 

Post # 4
2772 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

beerandcupcakes:  how offensive! I don’t think I would have been able to sit through that. I walked out of a Catholic Church about 6 years ago because of an ill informed, insensitive and offensive homily, and I never returned. 

Post # 7
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Bummer – sorry that your Pre-Cana was like that.

We were able to attend one of the engaged encounter weekends. It was fantastic! It’s run by two married couples. There is no priest except for mass. They spoke about this issue, and how it’s wrong to alter your body’s natural functions with drugs and there are bad side effects and other such BS. But really they glossed over those negative comments very quickly and made that lesson mostly about how wonderful NFP is and all its positive benefits. Then they said we should all sign up for the NFP class where this is discussed at length and gave us a bunch of pamphlets.

Now those pamphlets – would have set my brain on fire. They are so awful. But because I could throw them in the trash, I wasn’t too offended. But if someone had read those to me during the engaged encounter weekend I would have been very offended. It would have changed the whole experience. I feel quite blessed that they chose to gloss over it so that I’m able to look back on that weekend very fondly.

Post # 8
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

beerandcupcakes:  I completely understand. Our Pre-Cana experience was awful. There was so much misinformation it was horrifying. They also said oral contreceptives cause cancer. We were especially bothered by one couple who were part of the presentation who told us that if we decide to use contreceptives we are breaking our marriage vows and it is on par to committing adultery. I’m sorry, but using birth control with my husband and have sex with another man are COMPLETELY different. It honestly made us regret getting married in the Catholic church. Luckily our mentor couple was totally down to earth and was also horrifyed when we told her what they said to us. It made us feel a little better and we went through with getting married at the church.

Post # 9
2964 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am so glad we didn’t do the couples retreat weekend.  We did the sponsor couple route, and I found that very fulfilling.  Mainly because NFP was covered with a pamphlet and our couple saying “We don’t care about what you decide, and we don’t need to know.  Here is the information the church wants you to know.  What you decide is between you and your marriage.”

The pamphlet was a joke of course.  I read it at home with DH for laughs. 

Post # 10
997 posts
Busy bee


beerandcupcakes:  We haven’t done pre-Cana yet, but our church requires us to complete a NFP class. We were both raised Catholic, so we knew exactly what to expect and opted to do the online course. About a minute in, we paused the video and went to the kitchen to grab some beer. We clinked the glasses and took a sip every time we heard them say something offensive/incorrect/or misleading. (We only actually only finished one beer each, but it made watching the videos way more tolerable to have our little act of definace by turning NFP instruction into a drinking game)

For us, the worst part was that they compared BCP to having monthly abortions. Seriously. They said it something along the lines of “Even on BCP, your eggs can become fertilized, but the dangerous chemicals you’ve introduced to your body murder every baby you conceive” If we had been forced to go to the NFP class in person, we probably would have gotten up and left.

Post # 11
2909 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

WOW.  Just wow.  I can’t believe they’re still doing that.  But hey, saying something over and over and over again until it SOUNDS like the truth is a great way to get the point across right? Ugh.

I once heard a Mexican priest in rural Mexico admonish women for using BCP during a sermon, saying that their urine ended up in the rivers and that’s why there were stories of 3 eyed fish, etc. It was so ridiculous I couldn’t even laugh.

Sigh, if only Ariel knew that she didn’t have to go to Ursula to get her legs, but simply stop taking BCP…

Oh and thanks for the latest article, I’ll have to go read it and figure out if Ortho Tri Cyclen is one of the ‘riskier’ ones? Anyone know? 

Post # 12
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

beerandcupcakes: That’s horrible and so irresponsible.

Post # 13
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Ok, if you are hard core Catholic the whole “Catholics do not use birth control” should not be an issue. Yes the presentation could have been done differently. But practicing Catholics do not use birth control in any way shape or form.

Post # 14
2964 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


tjgonzo:  Actually, completely untrue.  A lot of practicing Catholics use birthcontrol.  You aren’t supose to, but a lot do.  Its the same thing as saying that no practicing Jewish person has never had bacon or a cheeseburger.  Satistics state that 98% of Catholic women who are sexually active (which is somewhere between 78 and 89%) have used some form of BC other than natural family planning. 

My mom is about as Catholic as it gets.  She works in a Catholic school, is in several church chiors, has been head of the woman’s guild.  Unfortunatly, she had several health issues that could only be handled by BC.  These same issues lead to her eventually needing a hysterectmy by the time she was 40.  I don’t think this makes her any “less” Catholic than someone who never used BC or never had a hysterectmy.   

Maybe it’s not the best thing, but I don’t think you have to follow and agree with 100% of your religion in order to practice it.   I agree with Catholism on the rights of the poor and workers, on justice for those imprisoned both rightfully and wrongly, on the end of the death penalty and many other issues.  I don’t always agree on reproductive issues, but I would disagree with a lot of religions on that. 

For where I got the satistics; http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2012/feb/17/keeping-facts-straight-98-catholic-women/

Post # 15
231 posts
Helper bee

Not surprising. There’s a reason we had a secular ceremony and passed on the Catholic one

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