(Closed) Pre-Elopement Party

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
8731 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

To me as a guest it would be a little wierd to celebrate an elopement prior to it happening and to have my gift basically be funding the actual wedding.

What if something goes wrong and you don’t actually get married (as in ship can’t dock or soemthing)? Will you give back all the presents/cash?

I am sorry but you really are coming off in your post that it is all about the money you can get from guests to fund your elopement especially since you added the line about it sounding bad and that you want them at your celebration as an after thought.

The best way to handle it in my opinion would be to go elope and then have a party to celebrate or forget the party and use the money that you would spend on a party to celebrate on your elopement.

Post # 5
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think that would be fine,it would be super cute if you did like a Bon Voyage party theme- maybe make it nautical or travel themed.  

You could have a brunch/lunch to cut down on expenses.  I always thought renting out a really cute coffee shop and doing a 2 hr desserts, mimosa bar, champagne, coffee would be super cute esp. if everyone who is coming is local. Would be fairly cheap, although if you are expecting to recoup cost of wedding/cruise and this party through gifts depending on your circle you might be SOL.  If you can’t afford the party, then just elope and send announcements. 

I don’t think it’s odd, but it is more of an engagement party than a wedding thing IMO.


Post # 7
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mydreymz:  I feel a “mock cermony” is unnecessary, seems odd to say vows that aren’t the ‘real ones.’

I vote for a small party to celebrate. Not sure what area you are in, just checked my area (Ann Arbor, MI) and this fancy resturant/hotel has buffet brunch event rentals for $10.50-16.50 with some fancy add-ons like a carving station, omlette or waffle station.  You could get all the bells and whistles for $30/pp.

Post # 9
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012


Welcome to the Elopement boards!  I see a few issues with your plan here.  Normally engagement parties (aka pre-wedding parties) are not hosted by the couple.  Generally someone throws one in your honor and it’s always those that are invited to the wedding – so nearest and dearest (as most people don’t know their wedding guest list at this time).

With elopements, generally gifts are not the norm.  It seems you are expecting gifts, and expecting enough cash to fund your party or trip.  It is actually in poor taste.  If you want people to be there to celebrate you have to go into it with the idea that you just may get nothing – not rely on their giving to fund the party.  I thought this once too, as my dad engrained in me, but I have since learned it was in poor taste.

I will say that people did send us gifts and gift cards.  This was usually just immediate family though.  It was all very much a surprise and we felt very honored with such acknowledgements.

What you can do however, is host a very casual party when you return.  You can make it just an afternoon, provide some cookies, treats, cupcakes and punch, having it at a non-meal time will cut down the costs.  It’s not supposed to be a reception though – that’s usually what you host to thank the wedding witnesses for coming.  Yours would be like a marriage celebration.

I think the mock ceremony seems kind of weird.  Are you hoping to give them something to make their attendance worthwhile?  Who would even conduct a mock wedding?  Just making it a celebration party will ease that stress.

You could invite your parents to the cruise so they can be your witnesses.  We thought of jus having the parents and H’s parents did attend and were our two legal witnesses.

Post # 10
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Eh. I am not a fan of the pre-elopment party. If you want friends and family to celebrate your love, I’d do it when yall get back.

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