- 4 years ago
I joined this site because I’m starting to make myself crazy and need an outlet!
I have been with my bf for almost 3 years now, and lately everyone around me/ close to me is getting married, engaged, living together, or as of yesterday… having kids.
As happy as I am for my close friends, I am feeling so stuck in a rut it is not even funny. All of my friends have been with their S/O’s for a shorter time span than my boyfriend and I, and even though I know every relationship and couple is different and moves at a different pace, I just feel crappy. Even all of my boyfriend’s friends are living together with their S/O’s, and some even have houses together.
The thing is is that my boyfriend is wrapping up a 6 year degree in a city that is 8 hours away, during the school months, so we can’t even live together until that is finished. I’m starting my own business in the fall, but even that is going incredibly slowly.
On top of that, a couple years ago we got pregnant but miscarried, and ever since then I feel like there is this hole in me I can’t fix until I get to actually hold one of my kids.
My boyfriend and I have had multiple serious conversations on marriage, engagement etc. I told him I’m losing patience with him because he kept changing his mind on when he would say he was okay to get married. He finally said at the latest we would get married in June 2018. My initial suggestion was October 2017, but he said he was less sure that he would feel ready for that, but would definitely keep it as a contendor. So at the very latest June 2018. No clue when he will propose though.
Right now, I know I’m with a wonderful guy who I’ve known for 6 years, dating 3, and whose family and friends I adore. I just really need support/ an outlet/ or advice for how stuck I’m feeling. There are so many complicated emotions with all of this… so… sorry for talking your ears off! And thank you to those of you who let me vent. I haven’t been just sitting idly by waiting for him, I have gotten the groundwork lain for my own business, I’ve travelled, gotten a BA (Debt free), and I’ve taken occassional school courses to keep me mentally stimulated, but none of it makes me feel like I’m progressing where I need to.
In other words… help! 😛