Post # 1
Member
10 posts
Newbee
I have been with my bf going on 3 years, but have known each other for 7 years. Our relationship is pretty serious. We have discussed a while ago about marriage but I think he’s getting cold feet. His friends have been whispering in his ear about all the things that will go wrong once he gets married or engaged. How can I tell him that nothing is going to change how our realtionship is? Also, how to get him to get me a pre-enagement ring for my birthday wish is in 14 days from today. Do I say I saw this ring that’s an engagement/promise ring which I like and would like for you to get me it? If any one is wondering we have a 2 year old daughter, and we own our own house in VA. Things are backwards for us. We had our daughter, then we own our house when she was only 2 months old. Now the next step is engagement, which should have been #1. Please advice. Any and all will help.
If you have anything negative to say KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR NEGATIVITY.
Post # 3
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
Continue to be the woman he wants to marry someday, and be patient for the engagement ring. He has a child and a home with you. He’s not going decide not to propose unless he has some pretty compelling reasons, and a promise ring means jack squat in comparison to your child.
Post # 4
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
I totallly understand you want a ring on your finger to show a bit commitment. Just tell him and show him that naked finger a couple of times a day!
Post # 5
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
I understand your desire for a ring, but it sounds like your relationship is stable enough that you should be able to communicate openly about this stuff. Why not talk to him about his doubts, your desire, his concerns and hopes, both of your dreams?
Post # 6
Member
25 posts
Newbee
If he’s getting cold feet, I actually recommend not pestering him about a pre-engagement ring often. You two have been together for a long time and have both a home and family together. There’s no reason for you to do anything other than be open about the way you’re feeling. If it were me, I would just explain that commitment you two have to one another and your daughter already exists and there’s no reason to think marriage will change that. Tell him that it would be meaningful to you and that you would really appreciate an official symbol of the relationship you have.
Post # 7
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
@Lovie: “Babe, I know we’re not really talking about getting engaged yet, but do you think we could talk about putting a promise ring on my finger? I even saw one that I love so you don’t have to do the hard-work!” and then with a bit more of a joking tone, say “it’d make me the happiest birthday girl ever!”
Post # 8
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
“The other day this guy at the [mall/grocery store/club/party] was checking me out, luckily I had this other ring to swtich over to my left ring finger, and he totally left me alone after he saw it! Funny, huh? Now I just need a permanent one!”
Also, maybe he thinks that with a house and a child, that is enough proof of his commitment? If it is a ring and marriage you want, have you considered moving out?