Post # 1
Ok, so my FH and I are both virgins. He mentioned something about pre-marital medical checks to me, just in passing, and so now here I am wondering if that is even necessary!? I have a doctor’s appointment this week but I was just going to find out about birth control and get a prescription. Now I’m terrified that he will say I need a medical check. If I haven’t been sexually active, do I need it? Or is it just after the honeymoon and before pregnancy? I am horribly shy about my body and don’t really relish showing it to my doctor before even my FH! Advice?
Post # 3
Congratulations on getting married!!!
Both my Darling Husband and I were virgins too. I was already seeing an OB/GYN for some medical issues and was already on birth control for the same reason. I just mentioned to her that I was getting married and asked her for tips on how to handle some of my medical stuff and sex. Some doctors might want to do a Pap test, mine has not. Because Darling Husband and I were both virgins, there was no STD concern and I preferred not to have it done.
Your doc might want to do a pelvic exam and that is normal. I was/am very nervous about it, but they’re not that bad. It’s a way for them to make sure that everything is ok and where it needs to be. It takes under 5 minutes.
If your doctor does want you to have a medical check with a GYN, ask for a referral for a woman GYN. No offense to a male doctor, but I much prefer seeing a woman for this stuff. It really does make it easier. If you don’t have any in your area and you do see a male, the nurse will be in there with you and she talks to you through it, will hold your hand if you need it, etc.
Feel free to PM me if you have more questions!
Post # 4
Do you mean like a pap smear? Depending on your age you should be getting those at least once a year, whether you are sexually active or not because they can detect health problems that could affect trying to conceive and what not.
I would get one asap just to start the process. I would doubole-check that you aren’t required to get one at this check up because my doctor requires a pap once a year in order to prescribe me birth control. There is nothing scary about it. It is quick and easy.
Post # 5
Your doctor will not likely prescribe BC without doing an exam first.
Post # 6
I agree with the PP that you should be getting an annual pap smear whether you are sexually active or not. It is just a matter of taking care of yourself. On top of that, no OBGYN I’ve ever seen will write a BC script without performing a pap smear first. So you probably ought to plan on needing that.
Is there something beyond that that you mean by a “medical check”? I’ve never really heard the phrase before so don’t know exactly what you are referring to.
Post # 7
Physicals are done on people of all ages. I know I am bad for not getting them done frequently enough, as I see doctors enough for other things. Your doctor may (or may not) suggest having a pelvic exam and/or pap smear and can recommend if you see a gynocologist or if they will do it.
I had been taking birth control pills for years. I had some tests done that other people do not usually have before taking them. My abdomen was palpated, I don’t know if that would be considered a pelvic exam. I didn’t have a pap smear until I had been on them for a very long time (over a decade), so it’s not required by all doctors.
If your doctor does recommend something you are not comfortable with, you can discuss it with them. Waiting to have certain things done isn’t always a big deal, but it depends on your personal medical history.
Post # 8
Annual smear tests when you are a virgin? really?
Here we get them done every 3 years from the age of 20/25 depending on when you were born and not if you are a virgin (ouch for a start)
Yes go and see your doc about bc and make sure you understand about getting pregnant, controlling your fertility, but don’t worry about any pre-marital health checks.
I am assuming you have not engaged in sexual activity with anyone else then there is no reason to do any STD checks.
btw – been on the pill for years, all my docs do is check hight, weight and blood pressure
(btw, in the UK and part of the great NHS where they don’t waste money on stuff that isnt needed)
Post # 9
@Twizbe: The CDC (and the American Cancer Society, U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) recommends that women start getting pap smears at age 21, whether or not they are sexually active.
ETA: Obviously health care varies from country to country and I don’t know where the OP is from.
Post # 10
@missrobots: my friend was actually put on the Pill just toncntrol her acne a few years ago. it had nothing to do with needing birth control but either way she didnt need an exam. im not really sure how they do it here. I’m in Canada.
Post # 11
@hogoboom2012: I’m in such a small town I’m not even sure if there is anyone availble other than my personal doctor to do pap smears or anything. And I do NOT want him doing it! And driving 6 hours for one is not really appealing either. But I would MUCH rather a woman, for sure.
Post # 12
Really, pap smears are no big deal. They are over in five minutes, tops. Doctors see this stuff every single day.
It’s a good idea to get a pap regardless if you’re sexually active or not. Cancer doesn’t care if you’re having sex. It just shows up if it wants to.
I just did a quick google search and I found a lot of cases of people being denied birth control and birth control renewals, in Canada (No reigonal area was specified) without a pelvic exam.
It’s a good idea to get a pelvic anyway, as I said before. there are a lot of things that can crop up despite being a virgin and it’s best to take care of them early if you do end up with anything abnormal.
Post # 13
@CarmenDoyle575: Seriously… I don’t believe there is anywhere in the United States that is a full 6 hour drive from a OBGYN. I’m not not being snarky, but am genuinely relaying your fears given that most people in the US give birth to babies in hospitals – delivered by OBGYNs.
As PPs mentioned, if you are over 21 (I had always heard 18) you should be getting regular pelvic exams, including pap smears regardless of whether you are sexually active. Pap smears are NOT STD tests. (You can elect to have STD tests done during a pelvic exam, but they are separate cultures.) They screan for abnormal cells, which could indicate something as serious as cancer. Yes, HPV and some STIs have been linked to cervical cancer – HOWEVER it is not the only cause. You can develop ovarian cancer without ever having contracted any sort of STI.
It’s a regular part of healthcare. You would not neglect going to the dentist, having a physical, or a breast exam would you? Why would you ignor insuring your reproductive health? They are a little awkward the first time, but really – its nothing to be worried about. They’re quick, relatively painless, and very short.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
ETA: PP are correct. Doctors in the US generally require a pelvic exam before prescribing birth control of any sort.
Post # 14
@Mrs.LemonDrop: i meant a 6 hour drive to a female GYN 🙂 and I’m in Canada. A remote part of Canada…. lol
Post # 15
I went to get b/c at planned parenthood when I was 17, before I became sexually active. They said I had a six month grace period to get a pelvic exam after they started me on it, or theyd stop giving it to me.
So if you start a couple months before the honeymoon (to make sure your routine is right and all is effective) then you can get your pap after, possibly.
Post # 16
@CarmenDoyle575: It’s possible they might give you some leeway on the pap smear, I know some practitioners will give you a few months after they put you on BC.
As for the woman OBGYN thing, remember you can always go to a Nurse Midwife or a Woman’s Health NP as well. That might extend your options for a female practitioner.