(Closed) Pre-marriage counselling

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you should go to counselling despite wether or not it indicates that you should call off the marriage. Would you rather go through the marriage and have fights similar to this? Or find the source of the disagreements and fix it, which in turn, may fix the rest of the problems (and help you guys handle future situations). 

You guys have been together for this long, and even though I do not know you guys, I feel that you stayed together for a reason and according to you, you’ve had no problems up until now. It could be the wedding jitters! Perhaps it’s the move and the new enviornment. 

But definitely work on your communication…that is key to a relationship. If you both are willing to work on it, I believe that it can work itself out before the wedding. My Fiance & I are on session 2 of the premarital counselling and we both love it. It’s teaching us how to communicate better (believe me, I thought we were pros at it because our whole relationship is a LDR. but even then, we still find new ways to communicate better). 

Have you done a love language test? He says you don’t bring him hapiness anymore…I don’t believe that just happens out of no where. See what love languages you guys are and start appealing to that! 

Post # 4
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you should go to counseling to help you two communicate better on a day to day basis. It sounds like normal pre-wedding jitters, but held in and then blowing up in a really hurtful, destructive way. 

Post # 6
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@11112hkwedding:  I am sorry you are going through this so close to your day. I definately think you should speak to someone. We went through marriage councilling twice (seperate religions) and we found it helpful. I see that you wrote about it being embarrassing to call off if needed, but it is much more important that you make the right choice for you both. It is much better to talk about these things now than after the wedding. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@11112hkwedding:  Hm…does she use a website for a guide in her counselings? My Fiance and I are doing marriage counseling by ourselves bc we aren’t in the same country so my pastor let us do this on our own, and once he gets here we’ll meet with my pastor in person and review everything/talk about how it went (we’re doing marriage 101 online). Maybe you could explain your situation and that you would really like to start SOMETHING urgently, so if she has any recommendations as to an alternative until late August or will let you begin it now, I would definitely do it before getting married. 

Post # 9
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

See a therapist.  Someone who can see you soon, not at the end of August.  If this is just jitters, you’ll have peace of mind and will feel more secure in your marriage.  If it’s not meant to be, you’ll find out sooner rather than later so your guests can change their travel plans.  I know you said that would be an embarrasment, but better they change their travel plans than you go through years of unhappiness and a divorce.

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