Post # 1
Just saw this article in my newspaper this morning about pre-marriage doubts leading to divorce (slightly).
Any thoughts? I was always curious if people who had doubts before they walked down the aisle were just nervous or if there was more to it.
Post # 3
I don’t have any doubts. I know I am marrying the man God has planned for me.
However, I think it depends on what type of doubts a person is having. Like for example: will I be a good wife/husband or I hope he ok that I can’t cook or she understands I am not a handyman. Stuff along these lines would signal doubt in oneself to be the perfect partner in their expected role and isn’t something I see causing the divorce, in my opinion. But, if someone has doubts about their spouse as far as cheating or supporting them financially then this could signal a lack of trust and security which can lead to divorce.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I didn’t have any doubts the first time around and three years later I was divorced. I am skeptical of these kinds of surveys because people are responsible for self reporting private information and my idea of cold feet may not be your idea of cold feet.
Post # 5
I’ve read a few articles recently that say women with doubts before marriage predict divorce more often than men with doubts.
I have also read that the types of doubt/anxiety are what matters – if they are about marriage in general (im scared to spend the rest of my life with 1 person) vs. about the person (will he be a good husband/father).
I think it’s natural to question things – and signals that you are taking marriage seriously and really thinking through the decision to get married. But questioning is one thing, doubting I think is another.
Post # 6
I DID have doubts with my first marriage and I definitely should have heeded them.
Post # 7
I think it’s depends on what kind of doubt it is and how big of an issue it will be in the marriage. A lot of people get cold feet and worry(as we should wit hthe high divorce rates), and that is very different then worrying about your spouse having very different ideas on the type of lifestyle you will lead, money, careers, children. Which are all substantive issues that can cause major conflicts down the line.
Post # 8
Data from any study can be turned and manipulated to show almost any result…that being said, if I’m not 100% on board with something, I don’t do it.
Post # 9
Maybe some people are just natural worriers though? I could see it being nerve racking just to walk down the aisle!
The biggest surprise that I had on my wedding day was how calm I was. I didn’t have doubts about us, but I figured I’d be really nervous to get married in front of everyone.
Post # 10
everyone might have different “doubts” – from simply being oversensitive and nervous to consciously ignoring serious issues, red flags etc. the second option will definitely break the marriage apart.