(Closed) Pre-marriage doubts signal unhappy unions, divorce

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did you have doubts before marriage?
    NO : (17 votes)
    44 %
    YES : (6 votes)
    15 %
    Kinda : (16 votes)
    41 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t have any doubts. I know I am marrying the man God has planned for me.

    However, I think it depends on what type of doubts a person is having. Like for example: will I be a good wife/husband or I hope he ok that I can’t cook or she understands I am not a handyman. Stuff along these lines would signal doubt in oneself to be the perfect partner in their expected role and isn’t something I see causing the divorce, in my opinion. But, if someone has doubts about their spouse as far as cheating or supporting them financially then this could signal a lack of trust and security which can lead to divorce. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    I didn’t have any doubts the first time around and three years later I was divorced.  I am skeptical of these kinds of surveys because people are responsible for self reporting private information and my idea of cold feet may not be your idea of cold feet.

    Post # 5
    Member
    11752 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’ve read a few articles recently that say women with doubts before marriage predict divorce more often than men with doubts.

    I have also read that the types of doubt/anxiety are what matters – if they are about marriage in general (im scared to spend the rest of my life with 1 person) vs. about the person (will he be a good husband/father).

    I think it’s natural to question things – and signals that you are taking marriage seriously and really thinking through the decision to get married. But questioning is one thing, doubting I think is another. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2961 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I DID have doubts with my first marriage and I definitely should have heeded them.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it’s depends on what kind of doubt it is and how big of an issue it will be in the marriage. A lot of people get cold feet and worry(as we should wit hthe high divorce rates), and that is very different then worrying about your spouse having very different ideas on the type of lifestyle you will lead, money, careers, children. Which are all substantive issues that can cause major conflicts down the line.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5963 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Data from any study can be turned and manipulated to show almost any result…that being said, if I’m not 100% on board with something, I don’t do it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    everyone might have different “doubts” – from simply being oversensitive and nervous to consciously ignoring serious issues, red flags etc. the second option will definitely break the marriage apart.

    The topic ‘Pre-marriage doubts signal unhappy unions, divorce’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors