(Closed) Pre-Marriage…. Jitters?? Anyone?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

With all of that going on, I think it’s totally normal to be stressed out! I’m sure all these big changes coming up, you’re both already stressed, which wouldn’t make the apartment hunting any easier.

Post # 5
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I dont think you’re having pre-marriage jitters, I think you’re having new life jitters!  Totally understandable… I mean this is all completely new and happening all at once!!  Just keep your trust and love for your future husband in the forefront, and try to focus on the excitement of marrying him.  You’re in for a whole bunch of new experiences but if you focus on the new life you’re building together, hopefully it’ll smooth over the rough patches.  Good luck to you!

Post # 7
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed about everything that’s going on and that’s completely normal. Try to cut both you and your Fiance some slack. You’ve been together this long being a long-distance couple, so you deserve a lot of credit. Most long-distance relationships don’t last. It’s going to be difficult to transition, but you guys can do it as long as you communicate openly and be honest with each other.

Post # 8
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

It’s definitely normal to be stressed out. You have so many changes going on right now.  And just know that things like apartment/house hunting or renovations (in the future) or car shopping or other things that married couples do together CAN be stressful. And it’s ok that they are stressful. That doesn’t mean that you guys don’t love each other.

The best advice I can give you is to make a big effort as you start all of these changes. If you let all of the stressful things get to you, it will affect your relationship. But if you UNDERSTAND that it will be stressful and try to manage that (and make an extra effort), then the change should go more smoothly. GOOD LUCK!

Post # 9
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s normal.  I live with my Fiance and I get worried and anxious on a daily basis.  Talking to him about it helps…A LOT!  Best wishes.  You are not alone, dear.

Post # 10
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!!!!

I had massive pre-wedding jitters – it is a huge life step and lots of transition… so your feelings are totally normal and understandable!  Plus, add wedding stress on top of that and everything goes out of whack!  There were so many things Darling Husband and I did pre-wedding that wedding/life merging stress affected and made it less enjoyable than I thought it should be.  As long as you are sure that your Fiance is the one you want to spend your life with, then things will be fine!

Post-wedding I actually laugh because I was SO doom and gloom and nervous about what was about to happen.  Now I think: I can’t believe I was so worried about NOTHING.  Marriage is wonderful – NOT without hard work and effort and selflessness – but nothing what my stressed out, worry-wart mind made it out to be…. 

Hang in there!!!  Take things a day at a time and it will all work out in the end. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think the “place to live stress” is totally normal!.. especially when what you’re looking for isn’t coming up easily. I know Fiance and I both got stressed the day we went… but we dusted ourselves off and moved on… ya’ll will do the same =)

Also, with ALL the changes coming up you’re of course looking at even more added stress!… but I wouldn’t place that on you and your FH relationship… that’s just simply b/c those kind of changes makes things stressful. (arrrrgh)

Ultimately you know that going from not living to someone to living together is going to bring out the “sand paper” as I like to say… he does things one way and you another.. but as ya’ll love each you’ll each find your little niche and everything will fall into place.=)

Don’t stress too much, remember to breathe, and when all this craziness passes ya’ll are going to be better and closer for it =)

Best Wishes =) =)

Post # 12
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

My story is kind of like yours. Long distance for 2 years, moving to his city in a few months. But I’m famiiar with his city and we’re not moving anywhere else after we get married. That being said, I understand some of the stress you’re having. Searching for an house/apartment is supposed to be fun… but it can also be stressful. We have searched maybe 3 times, and ended up having fun all of those times. But it always began with HUGE stress and fights galore! We just have different opinions on where and what we should live in ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it’s totally fine to be stressed. And I think that you will STILL be stressed and fight with him once you marry and move. But, it’s normal! Just remember to limit the fighting and have fun together as well. My Fiance is good because he notices when we’re fighting too much and he’s like… stop it, smile, shut up! ๐Ÿ™‚

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