(Closed) pre-martial counseling for the non-religious types (help!)

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

I am a BIG BIG BIG believer in this theory.. take a look and order the book online- its worth the investment. 

 

Just my .02

 

Post # 4
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Does your company have an EAP? With my company’s EAP we got 3 free counseling sessions. We just found a therapist through the EAP network and the health insurance took care of it.

Post # 5
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@retreadbride: I haven’t personally used it, but other people have recommended this to me, and from how it is described, it sounds really helpful. I want to read the book with my Fiance eventually.

Post # 6
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

we’re seeing a regular marriage counselor… she stated that she typically does a 4/6 session for premartial counseling after which if we wanted to continue we could but she is following a “course” outline that lasts for about 4/6 weeks

 

Ive heard the5 Love Lanaguages was an excellent book to read

Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

dont wait- buy the book– it really makes sense–  instead of doing the dishes, maybe he just wants you sit watching tv–  Its amazing how we can all love so differently.

Post # 8
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know you said non-religious, my Fiance and I are having an outdoor ceremony which means no Catholic priest or church ceremony.  We are non-practicing Catholics.  My sister recomended going through Pre-Cana even if we are not getting married in the church just because it was the best thing for their relationship she felt they did.  It asked a lot of questions on how they would handle certain conflicts in the future just so the thought is out there so when it came down to disciplining kids there was no “I didn”t know you would act like that?!”  Hope that helps!

Post # 9
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

A church near us holds a non-denominational, religion not required pre-marriage course. We’re going to go to that.

Post # 10
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I saw a post about this a few weeks ago on “A Practical Wedding” and there was some great book recommendations:  http://apracticalwedding.com/2011/01/ask-team-practical-books-for-brides-wives/

I have heard good things about “The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do” by Susan Piver.  Quite a few people on the link above suggest reading “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman.

I’m in a similar situation and plan on reading both.  I too want to avoid divorce as much as possible but my fiance and I are not the religious types.

 

Post # 11
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@SerenaSF: regarding John Gottman– I was in one of his original Harvard studies- hmmm 27 years on that marriage.  Guess thats a pretty good run.

Post # 12
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I was also thinking about doing the same thing.

If you both want to, then go for it! The book idea seems like a better idea for creating a more initimate period of time between the two of you.

Post # 13
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you do the 5 Languages dont treat it like a Comso quiz- based on my experience- those really tax the patience of even the most nuturing guy.  Let him read it- and then get together to discuss….

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