Post # 1
I am posting this a bit pre-maturely since SO and I are not oficially engaged yet (though I believe its coming soon) though we currently hope to get married late next year.
When I started dating him, his sister was 15 and we bonded imediatly. I never had a sister and I loved her from the start. We refered to each other as “psuedo – sisters”. When we first started talking about marriage, I was very excited and told her I would want her to be my maid of honor.
She is now 20, and like some 20 year olds she is asserting her independence. I get that. She moved about an hour away for school but never makes an effort to visit (Even if I drive to her). This past year, I’ve seen her about 5 times. I try to text her to keep in touch and she rarely replies and in general she’s just turned into a bit of a flake. I still love her dearly, of course, but in terms of a Maid/Matron of Honor I feel like she would be either feeling overwhelemed or just not put in any effort at all and flake out.
On the other hands, I have a girlfriend that I am very close with that has OFFERED to help me any way she can for our wedding. She is excited and has been a Maid/Matron of Honor before.
I am not one to expect my Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor to go out of their way to take care of my wedding plans. I don’t expect anyone to fall all over themselves to be at my beck and call. 🙂 But if someone is offering to help, it is much appriciated.
My dilema is, do I tell my Future Sister-In-Law that she is invited to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and my friend will be the Maid/Matron of Honor. Or do I let her keep the Maid/Matron of Honor title and have my other girlfriend be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but with a special title since she would be helping so much? Any thoughts?
Post # 3
@Polaris: Have you told your Future Sister-In-Law will be MOH? If not, let your friend be Maid/Matron of Honor or let them both be BMs and not have a MOH?
Post # 5
Have no bridal party, skip the drama.
Post # 6
@LuvMySailor: Thanks for your insight! I did mention it to her a year or so ago but we are not officially engaged so there has been no official “asking of the BMs” 🙂
Post # 7
As you are not yet engaged and have not officially asked a bridal party, just ask your friend to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and have Future Sister-In-Law be a bridesmaid.
Post # 8
@StuporDuck: As much as I like the sound of that in theory, I feel like in the end I would regret it if I didn’t have my ladies (and a few dudes) with me. Trust me, I am not one for any kind of drama but I just don’t put up with it. LOL!
Post # 9
Are they the only two attendants you would have? Why can’t you name both of them MOH? I’ve twice been Maid/Matron of Honor where there were two of us and I plan to have a Matron and Maid.
If you only have the two attendants, then you might as well make the friend who wil be there and fulfill duties be Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 10
I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful replies. I *am* now officially engaged (woo!) and decided that even if my future Sister-In-Law is being a little flakey as of late, I really did want her to have that title (with MY full understanding that she is who she is and I need to accpet that if I’m going to name her my Maid/Matron of Honor and learn to go with the flow a bit).
I am very happy with my decision and my other friend is happy with her title of “Fairy God Babe” that I decided to call her. And my future SIL is very excited. I think this will be another great bonding thing for us. 😀