(Closed) Pre-nup?

posted 4 years ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
6526 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Beachy53:  i don’t see the point since neither of you have anything of value. So since you will possibly end up owning a home together at some point, the pre-nup does not protect that, so again, I don’t see the point. I also don’t believe in pre-nups, like you pre-nups are for people who don’t think the relationship will last forever. Your fiance says he wants to prepare for the worst case scenario, so in his mind its a possibility and you aren’t even married yet.

I get it, a lot of couples don’t last forever, but lets be realistic, unless you each have a ton of assets to protect, than I don’t see the point.

Post # 3
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t see the point in your case. Really I only get it if someone owns a massively successful family business that could be broken up in a divorce or has kids from a prior relationship they want to make sure are protected. Your inheritance will still be yours alone, it’s not considered marital property unless you comingle it, so just keep it in a seperate account. I’m not into them in general because in no way shape or form do I want to make divorce be a convenient cut and dry pre planned option. Let the law of the land decide. Let it be a shitty/messy/painful/expensive option. 

 

Post # 4
Member
3529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I wanted a prenup, not because one of us had more assets for the other, but because I saw my parents go through a THREE year divorce.  And then they took each other BACK to court 10 years later and that lasted another three years.

Darling Husband didn’t want one, and I wasn’t so committed to having one that I pushed for it.  The only thing that financially was different between the two of us was money Darling Husband made on the condo he sold before we were married and that he keeps in his own savings account, so that wasn’t even a concern.  We did discuss drawing up paperwork before we were married when we purchased our house, but we never got around to it. 

We may actually have to do a post nup for a company he is looking to start, in order to protect me.  Of course if that happens, I will be having my own attorney look it over to make sure BOTH parties are equally protected should something happen to us.

Post # 6
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

Beachy53:  From a young age, my mother and I agreed that I would one day have a pre-nup. Then, after my now Darling Husband proposed, she contacted her atty to start the process. My Fiance knew, and I was ok with it. Then we got the letter from the atty detailing what was entailed (including my Fiance needing to get an atty, which we did not have the $ for) and that plus the wording included in the letter (the thought of breaking up was too much to handle) turned us off and we decided it wasn’t for us. My mom offered to pay for his atty fees, but we were still turned off to the process. I, like you, have a lot more to lose if anything should happen to my relationship. My mom did not fight or push after Fiance and I made the decision to not get a pre-nup but only said that it was my future children who would benefit, but that it was our decision and she would not push. That was that. I still think that pre-nups are practical and can be beneficial, but we opted out.

Post # 8
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

We’re getting one, and while it was my idea he’s totally for it too.. we don’t like to be unprepared, and we know that if we ever get divorced, given how much we love each other, it’ll be so incredibly painful.  Better we have some clear outline to follow to make it easier on us if we’re ever there, and this way while we’re both clear headed and in love we can make sure we’re both as generous as we’d like to be to each other (rather than as malicious many become during divorce).

Post # 9
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We’ll be signing one.  While we love each other and are fully committed, his family has built a buisness that has been around for 40 years.  I know that should anything (g-d forbid) happen, I shouldn’t be entitled to it.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  b143.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  b143.
Post # 10
Hostess
3833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I think that they’re smart when one person has a ton of assets or other family members to protect, but in your situation, I wouldn’t worry about it. If he felt really strongly about it, I would probably give in, but I’m practical and understand that not all marriages last for a variety of reasons. That being said, we won’t have one. Fiance and I met at 18 and literally have built everything together. I don’t plan to take over the family business, my future inheritance would be separate, and I don’t believe that my retirement account would be at stake.

Post # 11
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I will have an inheritance so I will have one.  SO wasn’t thrilled at first as he thinks like you, it’s planning for a divorce, but he’s come around as he knows this is important to my dad.  My sister had one and the process was pretty painless for her and my Brother-In-Law.  They don’t even keep a copy of it in their house.  

It’s not a fun topic, but I think in your case, since neither of you have significant assets, it may not be necessary.

Post # 12
Member
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t get one now, without assets, but I’d sure as hell get one before I left the workforce to care for children.  Having a pre-nup doesn’t say “I don’t think we are forever.”  It just says “I understand that not everyone lasts forever, no matter how badly they want to, and if we can’t stay together, I don’t want a bad situation to become worse.”  It’s like how having a homeowner’s insurance policy on your house isn’t saying you actually think a tree is going to fall on your house… it’s just nice to know it is there “just in case.”

Post # 13
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I actually asked my Fiance if he wants one because I’ll be the one with a stupid amount of student debt and he’ll be receiving a relatively large insurance claim just before we get married. I have no intention of divorcing him, obviously, but I just wanted to make sure the option was there. He said no. 

Post # 14
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We have a pre-nup, because my parents own a business. The only thing the pre-nup protects is my inheritance. As far as husband’s money and my own money go, what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine. When we have kids, we will have a trust drawn up where my inheritance would be passed down to our child(ren) should anything happen to me, regardless of my and my husband’s marital status.

My parents were the one that requested the pre-nup and my husband and I sat down with my parents to understand why. It’s not that they didn’t think we will last, but if for example, my husband and I did divorce and he remarried (and we didn’t have the pre-nup in place), my husband and this new wife could potentially have rights to my parents vacation homes. Can you imagine my brothers and I having to share my family property with my ex-husband and his new wife? Ick.

I know that’s an EXTREME example, but believe it or not, it happened to my mom’s aunt which is why they are super paranoid.

Post # 15
Member
4830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Beachy53:   A prenup allows you and your Fiance the opportunity to decide how assets will be divided, and other terms of divorce.   If you divorce without a prenup, those decisions will be made by a judge.   

In our prenup, we included a clause that we could make changes to it in future if both parties agreed on the changes.  Personally I wouldn’t get married without one.  I do not want a complete stranger (a judge) to decide anything about my assets, or my spouse’s assets.  

 

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