(Closed) Pre nup agreement

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you sign a prenup if you were not sure the marriage is going to last or not?
    would sign a prenup if i was not sure : (9 votes)
    22 %
    Would not sign a prenup evenif i was not sure i dont believe in pre nup : (10 votes)
    24 %
    Not get married at all : (22 votes)
    54 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    wait are you marrying him just for insurance? I think marrying someone in that situation that you are in a relationship with is a bigger issue than a prenup! Can you be added as a domestic partner? My Fiance is on my insurance!

    Post # 4
    Member
    14185 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    What kind of assets are you talking? Family business? Inheritance? Etc ? It’s a way to cover both your butts, but it depends what you have. If one of you is dirt poor and the other is loaded like a Trump, well, valid. If you’re both broke, well, not really necessary unless you want one to hash out what you’ll do with the house you’ll end up having, how you’ll take care of your kids, how you’ll divide the money (esp if you become a stay at home and he essentially support you) etc. Also if you get married and it ends in a year (heaven forbid) then you can have a clause that allows you to not just be thrown out, broke on your butt because you’re obviously finishing up school.

    Prenups don’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you or isn’t sure. Prenups are just pracitcal sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re "planning" or "preparing" for a divorce. It’s just there. Plus, you’ll have another lawyer facilitate it anyways, so somebody will be looking out for you. Honestly, your Fiance would know how to screw you if you ended up getting divorced and you obvoiusly wouldn’t know enough legal background to protect yourself. 

    So….he told you he doesn’t really want to get  married or be married to you in the future? Is that really how I was supposed to interpret that? If that’s the case, I wouldn’t marry a guy that doesn’t WANT to marry me. 

    Also, you’re going to be starting residency…does he just want to make sure he doesn’t get stuck with some of your debt or something like that? I’m sorry i’m just really confused by your post and can interpret it a lot of ways. Honestly, YOU should want one…seeing as how you’ll be a rich doctor at some point (depending on what your specialty is). 

    Post # 5
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Not to be judgemental, but marrying someone just to be on their insurance seems like it might be a situation that requres a little more consideration.  For me, getting married is a HUGE deal…and even under the best of cicrumstances (true love!), it can be very difficult at times.  I have serious concerns about someone getting married who says, "well, if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just get divorced."  If that’s the way you’re looking at it…then maybe marriage isn’t the most logical step for you to take.  If I thought there was a chance that my Fiance and I would get divorced in the future, then I wouldn’t be marrying him in the first place!  Of course, people get divorced…but hopefully people don’t get married thinking, "well, we can just get divorced if it doesn’t work out"…it’s not like breaking up with a boyfriend.  As Vistagirl mentioned, perhaps you should look into whether or not your Fiance can add you as a domestic partner.  I agree that it seems like the motives for getting married are more concerning than the prenup issue.  I’d rather not have insurance, than be married to a man who isn’t sure whether or not he wants to be with me in the long run.  Of course, everyone needs to make decisions for themselves based on their own beliefs…that’s just my two cents. Good luck with whatever you decide. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    Forget the prenup for a second, and here’s another question: If your guy had bad insurance or no insurance, how would this impact your marriage plans?

    You are fresh out of a divorce and it sounds like you are not certain that you want to marry this person right now. Pre-nup or no pre-nup, insurance is not a good enough reason to marry someone in my book. But if I was going to marry someone for their insurance, I would definitely ensure that I had a pre-nup. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’m confused…who’s asking for the pre-nup? First you say he believes in them, then you say you want one to protect you should you get a divorce.  Are you asking for it, or is he?

    I would say that getting married to get insurance is not something *I* would do, but if your primary purpose here is pragmatic then so should your approach.  A clearly delineated pre-nup could make a future divorce much easier, though your circumstances are going to change a lot befoer then so maybe not.  As I understand it, a pre-nup only covers assets you have prior to getting married and inheritances.  Taht could vary by state, but I don’t think so.

    Maybe if you clarified the situation a bit more…

    Post # 8
    Member
    321 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I am with fizicsGirl on this….are you just marrying to be put on his insurance?

    It sounds as though this is the case. You want a prenup, and he doesn’t. He thinks it will work, while you don’t?

    Excuse, why are you getting married if you don’t think it will last? Just for the insurance? Personally don’t think getting married is worth insurnace, especially if you think that after you finish your residency and in theory you don’t need his insurance any more, you’ll divorce.

    Could you please clarify, because it really seems like I am missing something.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Can you add a third choice for not getting married at all? It sounds like a really bad plan!

    Post # 12
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    This sounds like a very bad situation.  From what you have shared with us, he does not sound particularly trustworthy.  I would be very hesitant to enter into a business transaction (as it sounds like that is primarily what it would be from his perspective) without knowing all the facts.  You can evaluate all the facts before you sign government student loans, but you don’t have all of the facts regarding your potential marriage.  Can you talk with your parents about this or a counselor or even pro-bono legal advice?

    Post # 14
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think the domestic partnership benefits vary from state to state.  Some employers will also offer domestic partnership benefits for their employees.  You can look into whether his company offers insurance for significant others.

    You mentioned your boss is an OB-GYN?  Can he/she help set you up with low cost insurance?  Or maybe you can look into government-sponsored insurance or go to the Health Department for some care?  You have options!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I dont know I think you should get married because you are in love, that’s just me 

    The topic ‘Pre nup agreement’ is closed to new replies.

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