Post # 1
I know for a fact I am pre planning way too much! But I feel like its all I can think about! I research anything and everything wedding any chance I get. I like to tell myself I’m going to be prepared when I finally get the ring. But even I know I’m crazy! =(
I’ve got almost all details I can layed out. Without his input of course! But I will basically have 2 or 3 options of everything to just show him and have him choose. I feel like I’m not going to be able to enjoy it once I’m actually engaged. AND I’m sure he will wonder how the hell I gathered all this info “so quickly!”
I’m going crazy! Its ALL I can think about.
Please tell me there is at least one other bee that does this! Or did this?
Post # 3
I’ve wanted to do this, but I don’t have enough patience:P
If pre planning makes you happy then I say go for it.
As for if it wont be any fun down the road, that I’m not sure.
Post # 4
Personally, I hadn’t looked at, or thought about, any wedding details until we were engaged. Luckily I have a super organised Mr (sometimes too organised!) so we have pretty much planned the whole thing together. I have to say, that when the day finally comes around, it will be nice to know that it is what “we” wanted. There no harm at all in looking at cute pictures, searching for inspiration, and leafing through bridal mags, but don’t have your heart set on anything too much, as it may not be what your other half wants? Hope this is helpful, and hope you get to have your big special day soon!
Post # 5
I would take a break on the pre-planning because it could also work against you and make you more anxious for the ring. Find hobbies not wedding related to enjoy also.
Post # 6
I’m not set on anything, but Boyfriend or Best Friend has told me over and over I can have anything at the wedding I want, since he knows I’ve been dreaming of it forever! But yeah, I’m ready for him to not like stuff. And have told him he can veto anything he doesn’t like.
I’m trying to keep busy, I will be good for a few weeks or a few months and then jump back in heavily! I’m just hoping I won’t have to wait too long and he can start helping me.
Post # 7
When I was waiting I couldn’t think about anything else either. Like you, I was already secretly pre-planning for a while. I had picked out what dresses I liked, what color schemes, favors, centerpieces, etc.
Then I actually got engaged and had Fiance giving me input. I’m pretty sure none of the ideas I came up with pre-engagement actually came to life. I changed almost everything. FI had a totally different idea for the color scheme, and the place we ended up choosing to have it threw a major wrench in all my pre-planning schemes. Plus, I also had my mom and my bridesmaids throwing ideas at me too.
So the moral of the story is, pre-planning is fun and really helps ease the frustration of waiting. But in the long run actually being engaged and having to communicate with people about your plans will probably skew a lot of your pre-engagement plans. It will be very useful for you to be so informed about wedding-related stuff, but in the long run you will probably still be starting from scratch as soon as you get that ring anyway. So don’t worry about not having any fun while engaged!
Post # 8
If he says you can have what you want, no wonder you are planning crazy.lol Wish I had an SO who was cvool with whatever I showed him.(My SO has to yay or nay everything.LOL He even had the nerve to say what dress he’d like me in.Too far.LOL)
Take a short break and come back to it. It’s summer, go lounge by the pool! 🙂
Post # 9
I did this. But I will say tread carefully. After there is nothing else to research or plan because you’re at a dead end (waiting for actual proposal and engagement) then you’re back to being even more frustrated because you’ve done all the research and can’t do anything with it. In a perfect world you will be engaged before the research gets redundant or before you run out of things to look for.
I was so disappointed to not have it all run smoothly from my pre-planning to us getting engaged. I did all of that planning 6-8 months ago and we still aren’t engaged. Although I know it’s coming I promised myself that I wouldn’t do anymore until we are. And I haven’t at all this year. It is fun and exciting to pre-plan but I think more so if you have a purpose, such as the actual engagement, and you can REALLY book, decide, and discuss with your SO. For me pre-planning definitely made me more antsy/anxious. I agree with the PP who say that it is better to find something that gets your mind off of the wedding stuff. For me that’s shopping and pampering myself. Good Luck! Hopefully you’re engaged soon and that pre-planning turns into actual planning.
Post # 10
you are so very right! I feel like I can’t research anything else….. everything is done. If we had the money and everyone was open, we could get married a month after the proposal! Which makes me sound even more crazy that I’d like to admit. Oh well.
I’ve been trying to be better and not research anything else now, just browse blogs and WB for ideas and inspiration. And a little RING PORN! =)
Post # 11
I’m a big proponent of pre-planning when it entails the following:
having a fun time looking at inspiration
developing a short list of vendors
saving money for your wedding
Sounds like you’ve crossed over into the land of ‘it’s making things worse.’ Take a break, work on a different project. I put my research skills into overdrive on terrariums and I now have 7 in my house. love them. Find a distraction girl!
Post # 12
haha now I really feel crazy! I do have to say I have not actually purchased ANYTHING. So that’s a little credit I will give myself. I’m hoping that having all the major things out of the way will give me more time to DIY and save money. But yes, I am absolutely taking a break now! =)
Thanks for the reality check bees!
Post # 13
I think you can go too far with pre planning
Boy and I have discussed lots of aspects of our wedding, even though we’re not engaged yet. He came up with ideas for the colours, the menu, the wedding cars, etc. We were even chatting via facebook the other night, sending venue links back and forth, and he’s been learning about what goes into the wedding and what various things cost.
It was lovely – until we started to argue over the venue and how it affects the overall feel of the wedding, that’s where it all goes too far. No one needs to be arguing about wedding planning before they’re even engaged.
(ps – boy, of you’re reading this – we’re having chicken wings – YOU can have roast chicken all on your own.)
Post # 14
@ms.oregon.state: I’ve done this before… But I’d have a folder on my laptop of “things I love”. I’ve deleted it and started over so many times, lol. I think it’s ok to have ideas of what you’d like, that way you wouldn’t be completely clueless when the time came.
Post # 15
I’m pretty sure once I get engaged I won’t have much to do. 🙂 Don’t have anything paid for or booked (although I’ve thought about it!)
It’s so hard when everyone is talking about it ALL them time…SO included! Let’s get a ring on this and make it for real now!!
@ms.oregon.state I’m a huge planner and you sound like it too! I don’t think you are crazy at all!! 🙂
Post # 16
@UmakeURownLUCK: haha I’m a HUGE planner! Always have been! SO knows I’ve been dreaming of my wedding day since I was 15. (yes, I’m one of THOSE girls)
He just laughs at me. But he has no idea the extent! =)