(Closed) pre-rsvp

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i think you could just do an early rsvp date- i’ve never heard of asking people to rsvp twice.  i don’t really see what the point of it would be- you are just giving them an opportunity to change their minds later.

Post # 4
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you could, however, just verbally and casually poll your guests about whether or not they think they’ll be able to come

Post # 6
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

yeah, i would definitely go ahead and send out save the dates early, then get feelers after that

Post # 7
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

hey! we’re having our wedding in hawaii 10/11/2011! we’re sending out our std’s in a few weeks asking for a preliminary rsvp on our website so we can get a feel of who actually plans on coming. We’re on the east coast, so we would hope our guests would know and book their flights at least 6 months in advance. I know there is “etiquette” to follow, but I think as a Destination Wedding bride, you have exceptions, especially when it involves $$$ and 3000+ miles of traveling.

What island are you getting married on?

Post # 8
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Hi!!  I am also getting married in Hawaii!! Wedding is Feb 2011.

I did a pre-rsvp thru my STD.  My STD consisted of a magnet and I put in a piece of paper (pretty, of course) stating that we wanted to do a room block but needed to have an idea of how many guests were seriously considering coming before that was possible.  I asked on the paper to go to our wedding website where there was a “PRELIM RSVP” section that was set up for people to let us know if the DEFINITELY WERE or DEFINITELY WERE NOT coming.  About 15 of the 140 we invited used it. 

 

Post # 11
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I didn’t ask people to RSVP early, but since I had my online RSVP already set up on my wedding website, I did include the information for each person in case they wanted to check it out or RSVP early (my online RSVP was set up with a specific code for each invitation sent so that if anyone forgot last names or names at all then I would know who it was for AND it was a safeguard against anyone who managed to get access to my website).  I definitely didn’t get an accurate representation of how many would be coming via this though.  Maybe 30 people RSVP’d before I sent out the formal invites and I ended up with 80 total.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
7 posts
Newbee

My daughter is getting married in Hawaii June 24, 2011, We sent out Save the Dates (haha, sorry just can’t shorten that to STD, lol)  a year in advance because of the cost for people traveling.  

We planned this location thinking that very few people would actually come and it would primarily be immediate family and few close friends, our financial planner even advised a destination wedding as a way to cut costs, and get a family vacation……

Well, fast forward, the wedding is in less than 5 months and almost everyone is coming! We invited 100!  Turns out we should of done it in the bahamas or mexico, someplace most everyone’s been.  Instead, this is their dream vacation and they’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii so they all decided to come.  NOT ONLY THAT, but some of them invited friends to come along, or just flat out invited themselves.  I’m a pushover, and of course everyone who invited themselves we dearly love, but now my reception costs have more than doubled. 

So be careful what you wish for, and be prepared to pay a lot more if they accept.  Maybe do the Save the Dates to your A-list first and do it soon.  Try to get some verbal confirmations, (you should be able to actually ask everyone on your A-list) and then you can add more people if space is available.  Tell the A-listers, you’re keeping it small, (or ask them not to mention it to anyone yet because you’re still determining how many you can afford) this way if word does get out, and someone else says “they didn’t invite me”…they’ll be more likely to understand.

Also, I’m requesting and RSVP no later than March 24th.  Vendors want their money 30 days before and that only gives me 8 weeks to get the necessary stuff for the guest totes, arrange all the local activities/transportation, we’ve planned etc.  We are doing a lot of the stuff ourselves, linens, etc.  All that has to be ordered and shipped to Hawaii ahead of time. I figure if you haven’t decided/bought plane tickets 3 months before going to Hawaii, you’re probably not coming.  

Post # 14
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I’m in a similar situation as we’re having our wedding in Belize. I’m sending my Save the Dates about 10 months in advance and including a note asking people to RSVP early if they know they’re coming. I’m also including our wedding website on the STD card so people can RSVP online if they prefer. What’s been most helpful for us, though, is talking to people personally to get a feel for who will and will not be able to make it.

Post # 15
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve seen it done different ways (and trying to decide how to do this myself)

1.  Ask around informally and get a feel for who thinks they may come (you’ll have to remember to ask your parents and FI’s parents to ask around also)

2. I got a friend’s SDT with no specific date, just a month and year, a year before her wedding asking me to RSVP if I think I can come.  She’s sending out invites for the actual thing soon, where she will enclose another RSVP.

3. (This is the way I’m leaning) Set up a website–which is useful for providing guests all the information for the destination wedding (date, destination, average cost, travel agent, etc)–with an RSVP section and ask people to RSVP.  You can include language saying you hope they’d RSVP so that you can make sure to plan accordingly.

 

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t understand RSVPing twice.  We’re getting married in Jamaica.  We sent out ave the date magnets, followed by emails to our wedding website.   We just sent out our invitations with 3 month to to. WIth all the information you provide, people will know you and understand you’re  having a destination wedding and just the plain ol courtesy of giving enough time to plan should be enough.

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