(Closed) Pre-Save the Date message to all guests (but mainly FI’s)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Personally, I think it’s a little too soon to expect people to know if they’re coming to your wedding, especially w/ only a pre-std.

That last part’s a little iffy. While you’re trying to be honest & up front, it may cause unnecessary drama so early in the game.

Post # 4
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think this is sort of an unnecessary step.  this is exactly what Save-The-Date Cards are for…to let people know when your date is some time in advance so they can decide whether they will attend.  why not just send out the Save-The-Date Cards now?

Post # 5
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You’re kind of asking your guests to RSVP before you even send a STD, much less an invitation. I wouldn’t do it. After you send your Save-The-Date Cards, people close to you who know they won’t be able to make it will probably tell you so. Sending this message is almost saying that you don’t want to spend the money giving people Save-The-Date Cards and invites if you know they won’t come, which I’m sure was not what you were really getting at, haha!

I think you should just casually announce on FB via a status update or something that you’ve set an official date. Lots of people will probably comment/contact you after that with responses, but you shouldn’t expect anyone to commit one way or another at this point.

Post # 6
1 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

I don’t get it. Why are you sending out what is essentially an invitation to receive a save the date? I’m guessing that your FI’s family is large and you’re using this as a way to have the potential invitees cut the guestlist themselves so that you don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings? What happens if someone says no now and finds out in January (when the invites are supposed to go out) that they can make it? Have a “B” list if you must, but IMO if these people are important enough to you and Fiance that you want to know now if they’re available to attend the wedding, they’re important enough to receive Save-The-Date Cards and invites. I also think that it’s way too soon to play the “no kids” card — there’s no way to address the issue that won’t upset people during the save-the-date/invite process much less the pre-save-the-date.

Post # 8
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That’s cool – I can see what he wants to achive but I definitely wouldn’t ask them to confirm that they can come first. Perhaps use this facebook message as a way to get your date out there, perhaps confirm postal address but dont ask for anything from them yet. Otherwise you will end up with people RSVPing three times, now, maybe for the STD and then for the actual invite – its overkill!!

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