Post # 1
My bridal shower is coming up in March, and my sister/MOH tells me the invitations are hitting the mail this week. The shower is up in New England, where I’m from and where 90% of my wedding guests live. I currently live in Savannah, which is where our wedding will be, and I am flying up for the weekend of the shower.
Here’s the dilemma – since everyone knows I’m flying up for the shower, my mom thinks that a lot of guests will have shower gifts shipped down to me and then bring along a card to the shower that tells me that a gift has been sent. She wants me to be surprised at the shower, so she’s asked me not to open any packages that show up beforehand. I am happy to do what she wants, but I wonder if the shower guests would be concerned if they mailed me a gift in February and didn’t receive any acknowledgement from me that it was received safely until AFTER I got back from my trip up for the shower in March.
It just kind of feels like not opening the gifts as they arrive will make everything more complicated than it needs to be. I would much rather be able to get out thank you notes as gifts come in than waiting until after the shower to write a zillion thank yous all at once! If you were one of my shower guests, how would you like me to handle the gift situation?
Post # 3
I couldn’t find anything about opening gifts before the shower but I did find out about opening wedding gifts before the wedding. Apparently you are allowed to open the presents but not use them before the wedding. That would be bad luck (only if you’re superstitious). This allows you to send out thank you notes earlier. I would just say do what you feel like.
Post # 4
I would probably resist the urge to open and wait until after the shower. Could you make a list of who the packages that arrive are from? I don’t know what information is included on the address label. Or even just have a count of how many you receive.
I feel like a lot of the fun of showers is to watch the gifts being opened. Since they are sending them to you for convenience at least they could see you be surprised by their card.
Post # 5
i know i will not resist the temptation.. but if u can then try it… 🙂
Post # 6
I would follow your plan—open them and send thank you’s right away. It’s better to assuage any fears of things getting lost in the mail than to act surprised.
I also had a shower far away from home, with the shower guests being all locals. Nearly all of the guests ended up bringing gifts to the shower, and I had to get them back home on my own! It was fun to open presents there but aggravating to get them all back.
Post # 7
Thanks for all the advice, ladies! I really would like to open gifts as they come in, and think this makes the most sense. I think I’ll broach the subject again with my mom and bring up some of the points you guys have raised!
@ chelseamorning – What a pain to have to worry about getting all your presents home! My mom has already very kindly volunteered to drive down at some point and bring along any gifts that people choose to bring to the shower in person. (She’s recently retired, so she feels like she has all sorts of time on her hands these days!)
Post # 8
I agree – I’m opening gifts as they come, and sending acknowledgements along the way. It will save you time with the thank-you notes, and I don’t think people would be offended…you’re going to have fun at the shower even if every gift has already been opened. This way you can enjoy everyone’s company without being distracted by shiny presents!
Post # 9
presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha something is in my house? it’s opened. I may not USE it, but I want to open it up. I also snoop for xmas gifts, so that’s my bias.
Post # 10
Yes, it’ll save time for the thank you notes, and anything that saves time is A plus.
Post # 11
Its a tough question. I see your point about guests not wanting to worry about if you received the present or not, but will guests really buy/send the gift a month plus in advance?