- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
does it really matter?
does it really matter?
Yep, it matters in a few ways.
Appearance: The self-tied bowties look better. They are fuller, more imprecise and have character because no two people will tie the same tie the same way. The pre-tied versions are generally stiff looking and lacking in character because they are too perfect. Too flat. Too perfectly angled. No poof to them at all. But there are some good looking pre-tied versions out there that actually try to make it look a little less stiff and give the tie some depth. Rental pre-tied bow ties can also be frayed and otherwised worked-over from all the use and abuse. The abuse can cause them to be difficult to control, and they start spinning off center.
Ease of Use: The pre-tied versions are much easier for folks. (Though, with the help of Youtube, you can learn to tie one in about 15 minutes. And once learned, it’s really difficult to forget.) Better tuxedo rental places offer a fantastic happy-medium: a self-tie bowtie with a snap in the back so that you or an expert can tie the bowtie, unsnap the back, and store the tie with a real bow until you need it. Then just snap it back on the day of the wedding. This is a nice option. On the wedding day, the groom may be nervous and can’t nail the self-tied version exactly the way he wants it—so it’s nice to have it sitting there ready to just be snapped around his neck.
Pride: if your fellow is into ties or fashion or appearance, then there’s a huge difference in the pride factor of wearing a real bowtie. The clip-on can make one feel like the ring-bearer if they feel like they should be in the real deal. Also, if you can tie a bow tie and you are under the age of 50, you will be universally considered by peers to be a keeper of archane man-skills every man knows they should have but don’t. Also, for those who need to learn to tie it before the wedding, it gives the man something to do and to learn for the wedding other than the emasculating choreographed dance number. And once learned, it’s something he can teach his son to do along with shining their shoes, changing their oil and throwing a spiral.
Cost: When renting a tux, the pre-tied tie usually comes with the accessory package which you likely need to get for the shoes, cufflinks, studs, etc. So buying the real bow tie can add an “uneccessary” cost.
End of Evening Shoot-outs: Finally, if at the end of the night, you guys get in a gun fight, you can’t do this if you have a pre-tied bow tie:
We had self tied bow ties…and I will say that if one of the groomsmen didn’t know how to tie them, my groom would have shown up for pictures with no bow tie, lol. So make sure they practice before the big day!
haha i love the gun fight thing! made me smile =) we are doing plaid bow ties and i don’t think those come standard with tuxedo rentals haha
YES! My FH wears bowties just about every single day to work. He loves them. My mom bought him a pre-tied one to be nice (she didn’t know he usually wears the self tied ones). I know some people think bow ties in general are silly but the pre-tied one just looked REALLY silly. There’s just something about it thats different.
Darling Husband had never tied a bow tie in his life and insisted on a self-tied bow. He practice and perfected it – but, come the day of the wedding, said he tied it like TEN times getting ready, because he was nervous. It looked great in pictures, etc – but I noticed him adjusting it a lot and it was slightly crooked at some points in the evening… just something to consider, if your guy is concerned about finished product.
Self ties are super cute in that preppy way but some pre-tied bows look very nice as well. DH bought a self tie last year to learn that ancient man skill but unfortunately has yet to find someone to teach him how to tie it. He and my brother tried to follow an internet tutorial and neither of them could get it right so I guess it is a valuable skill to have.
@slicey19: There’s one move in the bow tie procedure that’s very difficult to express, but is very easy to do once you know what you’re supposed to do. It’s where most of us get messed up. Most tutorials are terrible at describing this stage. All written descriptions are even worse.
Anyway, if your hubby gets the urge to learn again sometime, here’s a really good tutorial. This fellow may be goofy, but his description of the difficult part is the clearest I’ve seen online. It’s at about :55 to 1:25 into the video (the push through part).
The most maddening thing about the bow tie is knowing that it’s technically the exact same knot you use to tie your shoelaces, but feels infinitely more difficult when you’re learning it.
thank you! i will have to show him that because i don’t believe he has ever tied a bow tie =)
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