Post # 1
…Does anyone else find it annoying when others say “Enjoy your marriage first”… I’m going on 28 and DH will be 30. We own a house, have lived together for 3 years, have done everything we wanted to do…and yet I am the one with the uterus & everyone likes to give unsolicited advice about it.
I guess it’s frustrating because I feel like we’ll never be fully prepared to be parents and I start to question whether or not starting right away is the right decision. I would hate to wait a year and have complications.
Did anyone else deal with annoying pre-TTC advice? Did you get pregnant right after the wedding? If so, do you wish you would’ve waited longer?
Post # 2
We had the opposite advice. Everyone was rushing us and we were the ones who said we wanted to enjoy being married first even though we’d been together six years by that time, haha.
I’ve had several friends get pregnant right after the wedding. They’ve never said if they wish they’d waited longer. We waited a year and a half before trying. I’m 30 now and 12w pregnant.
I say do what you think feels right – people have advice about everything (whether you wait or go for it!).
Post # 3
It never stops. When you are pregnant, people will have a whole lot of opinions/advice for you about that too. And when you actually have the baby, it gets a million times worse, lol.
Post # 4
I politely tell people to go screw when they offer unsolicited advise about my uterus. We started a month or so after we married – we are having problems so we’re glad we didn’t wait because we’d start running out of time if we had just started now and then had to wait another year to get treatment.
Post # 5
I just smile in response. I too believe we will never be ready. I’m eight weeks now and I still wake up some days asking myself what we have done.
Post # 6
Omg this bothers me SO much!! I guess I got married young-ish (24) and so I feel like I get it even more. Im now 25 and DH 27, and so many people have said youre going to wait to have kids right? Youre soo young, enjoy life, travel! You have lots of time! It makes me so mad! I dont want to travel anymore! It makes me question whether or not I am too young/unprepared. Were planning on Ttc this month (one yr after wedding) and i have been a little nervous about whether were ready and what people will think. But then i stop and realize im being so silly.. We own a house, have lived together for 2.5 years now.. Have good jobs, and are content with how much weve travelled. What the heck is waiting another year going to change?? Im ready now!
Post # 7
Well, I am glad I didn’t have kids any sooner. I had my son at 32 and we’d been married for close to three years, together seven years. Your life really does change dramatically, even if you keep being awesome. Raising small children does put stress on a relationship, what with the sleep deprivation/exhaustion, hormonal changes and recovery after birth (ie, less sex), less free time and alone time as a couple, more financial stress, etc. Having a child has been amazing and wonderful and my marriage is doing great, but it does make things harder in general- so I’m glad we had lots of time to enjoy life with just the two of us!
Post # 8
Well to be fair, you should enjoy your marriage while you don’t have kids. It changes very very dramatically after you have children. Even pregnant women (with #1) should try to enjoy their childless marriage for the time being. No need to rush it by wishing for other things. That’s not to say you can’t go ahead and TTC whenever the hell you want to, but you should definitely enjoy your marriage in the moment without spending all your time wishing for the future because you will never get tha time with just you two back again. Not to say it isn’t awesome to have kids but it is very very different. I got pregnant right before our wedding (it was an oops) and yes I would have liked to have waited longer. I’m not sure why you’re worried about complications as you are only 28 which is very young, unless you have specific medical conditions that are known. People give annoying advice all the time, you better learn to let it go now.