Pre wedding anxiety

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

It sounds really cliche to say, but I just reminded myself that at the end of it all, as long as Dh and I were married it was successful, because that is what the event is really about. Everything else is a fun extra. It was windy when I got married outside. Blew my veil off 3 times before I just gave up and held it in my hand the rest of the ceremony. It blew the pages of the pianist I hired for the ceremony so a few chords were off as he played. The van that was supposed to transport my guests from the hotel to the ceremony was like, 20 minutes late so they didn’t get to enjoy The pre-ceremony for and drinks they were supposed to have.

Stuff will go wrong, but you’ll still be happily married at the end of it all. As a side note, the photos of my veil blowing off my head is one of my favorites.

Post # 4
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee

As long as you both end up married to each other at the end of the day, everything else is optional!  Just keep reminding yourself of that.

I was like you a few months before my wedding.  Full of ‘what ifs’ that might go wrong. Then Covid hit, our wedding got postponed, and when it was finally allowed to go ahead, we were warned by the registrar that she would stop the ceremony at any point if she felt it was unsafe to continue.  It made me realise how so much of what I had been worrying about really didn’t matter!  So don’t let those ‘what ifs’ spoil your anticipation of your wedding day.

Post # 6
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@bumble89:  Stick within your comfort zone as far as you can!  I’m a jeans & jumper girl too and have never worn any makeup at all, in my entire life.  So I wore a very simple dress (the kind that a lot of bees here would shoot down in flames as being ‘more like a bridesmaid than a bride’ dress!), a very simple hairstyle and no makeup.  We also kept our original wedding plans very low key (although they ended up being even more low key thanks to Covid)  

There is no law that says you have to wear a giant white meringue or inch-thick foundation to get married.  Or that you have to have a veil, garter, train, first dance, speeches etc, etc, etc.  As long as you fulfil the legal requirements from your country to get married, everything else is optional.  So don’t be afraid to ditch anything that feels too ‘dressed up’ for your style!

Post # 8
Member
227 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@bumble89:  I’ve been a bridesmaid enought times to know it’s never perfect (at least behind the scenes). You jut have to roll with the punches and be realistic with your expectations

Post # 9
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

For me my wedding day was beyond happy. Did things not go to plan? sure, but did I care no, I never noticed. Brides glow, you will look beautiful. Congratulations and lots of luck.

Post # 10
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I had anxiety in the months leading up to my wedding. You know what helped them go away? Covid. It changed my perspective. 

Post # 12
Member
13 posts
Newbee

I’ll be getting married in a registry office, just the two of us alone, as our parents are abroad and can’t travel due to the pandemic. I am ordering a dress online from a nice retailer. My leave for the day isn’t even assured so if I can’t get the leave I will go into work mid-morning after the registry ceremony. Absolutely not how I imagined my wedding day but the important thing for me is that we will be married against all the odds the last year has thrown us. I don’t expect everyone to want the same and I get that the trappings of the wedding are super important for many women, but when the details are not quite right – or simply not there! – you will be married at the end of the day. And if this is your true priority then none of the other stuff should matter 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

HUGS!! The kind of anxiety you’re experiencing about your wedding is what STOPPED me from planning a ceremony of any kind—we’re courthousing it with a party later on, and no one could pursuade me to do otherwise. So, the way I see it, unless you’re being forced into an elaborate ceremony against your will (in which case you should definitely reevaluate this plan, lol), there is a tiny part of you that really wants to do this. There must be excitement buried somewhere within that fear. Try to trust that. Things WILL go wrong, I guarantee you (the only people I know who managed to pull of flawless weddings work in theater, like, they do this for a living), but you will most likely be having such a good time that you will barely notice, and it’s definitely not what you will come away from the day remembering. The important bits are that you’re going to marry the love of your life and celebrate that with the people in your life who love you. Everything else is static. 

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