Post # 1
I have had so many arguments with my Grandmother who very well is the Mother of the Bride, for she raised me. (A family situation that I rather not go into, because its not the main point. Yes my Mother is alive and I do know her.) because she is paying for all of this.
I am so emotional over everything that is happening. Plus I am dealing with a lot of transitions in my life, spiritually I’m going through some questions and doubts, which is part of my stress. I am going through the transition from Single person, to wife, and I am dealing with the stress of being the go to person for every detail.
I kick myself in the behind not getting a wedding planner, to help mediate between me and my Grandmother, but I didn’t really know anybody except my Aunt, and I didn’t really want family to do it, because that always leads to more drama. I finally found a person. And the wedding reception (the cause of all the planning stress) is December 23, 2011. The Ceremony is an LDS Temple ceremony so there isn’t much stress there.
Simply what I want is somebody to be with me and my Grandmother through the remainder of the stress. Is it okay to get somebody to help this late when almost everything is done and invitations are sent out? Has anybody done this? I have had some offers for help. And I think I want to do it.
How else can I handle the emotional stress? Would a therapist be a good idea? I am very much going through many changes in who I am as a person. I come to this community, not exactly knowing the correct question to ask, just knowing I want help.
And Please I found one comment on my Yahoo Question that stated I if I am too young to pay for a wedding I shouldn’t get married. I don’t think that is fair, that makes me want to cry. I hope I can find some more support here, I need it. I have read many boards not as a member. Now that I am. I hope to find some solace in the weeks leading to my wedding.
Post # 3
Sorry I can’t help with your poll, we are paying for everything. I am not sure I understand what the cause of the stress with your grandmother. Is it she is paying for everything and you hate her choices? It is always a good idea to go to a neutral party to help diffuse a problem. Maybe if you can explain what the stress is I could help? Not saying I know a whole lot about much. But I got a lot of help from the folks today and hoping I could help someone else. How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking and forget those mean people on the other board.
Post # 4
Sorry you are going through this! 🙁 Transitioning all at once is tough!
First of all, I would say that it is not too late to hire a planner. I have a day-of planner which essentially means that I meet with her a month before the wedding to go over the details and to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I next see her at the rehersal and then the wedding.
It’s wonderful having someone there who can coordinate with vendors and make sure everything goes smoothly.
I would also highly recommend counseling. Sometimes churches offer couseling or have resources/counselors they recommend. It sounds like you might have this option as you mentioned you are having a LDS ceremony.
Being a worrier and an overly cautious person I’ve found counseling very helpful throughout my life but particularly during the pre-marriage process. We chose to do pre-engagement and pre-marital counseling and I went to a counselor on my own for other issues. You can meet counselors on your own or, if your grandmother agrees, you can meet with one together with your fiance. However you want to do it.
As for your questioning your faith, I really feel for you! It’s a tough thing but hang in there! I truly believe that God is big enough for our questions. Do you have friends that you can turn to to sort things out or a pastor to help you along? I’ve found that going to my pastor with some of my spiritual questions to be very helpful and most churches have a counseling type pastor.
I’ll be praying for you and I hope everything works out so you can enjoy your wedding! 🙂
Post # 5
Well I am 22, almost 23 (4 months away is my Birthday…Okay so that makes me a little happy, I get to spend my birthday with my hubby). The situation is difficult. It was her not really listening to me, I felt downright ignored. I know she is paying for it and she wants some say in how things go, but I felt like I had no say. I really felt all of this was a fight.
She has a apologized. I will keep in mind counseling though I dont’ think I can get that for free right now. I could when I was up at school and I did see a counselor then. I cannot do pre-marriage counseling with my Fiance due to we are doing a long distance engagement. Oh I should have mentioned that. Long Distance has been half of our relationship. He isn’t in the military. It has been because of school, and other things. We both met up at school last spring, then for fall he decided to take a semester or two off. We where again up at school this spring. Now he is back home in Washington, and I’m here in California. Its been stressful that part. We do skype.
The only reason I am not paying for my weddng, is I really don’t have that much money, and I barely got a job, not making a whole lot.
I guess I just really needed to talk. Any more help would be great. And I appreciate the prayers.