- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
I’ve been very excited about going dress shopping for the past 4 months, even though I have low self esteem and all, getting engaged was supposed to be my time to feel pretty. Last week, I went to the dress shop with a friend of mine who is getting married in February to look for her dress as well as secretly look for some more ideas for mine. After all, it was my friend’s day, not mine, and I was ok with that, until the bridal consultant mentioned that they had some lovely maternity wedding dresses. I ignored her, until she said it again, to me… Huh? It took me a minute to realize that this woman thought I was pregnant. Of course, being the nice person I am, and wanting to avoid confrontation while my friend was getting ready for the greatest moment of her life, I politely smiled and said that I was not pregnant. I wanted to grab this girl and shake her, but I digress…
And then it hit me, I had gotten fat around the middle. As well as under my arms, my back… etc. Oh God. How can I possibly go try on wedding dresses next month when all I can think about is how much of my back fat is going to be hanging over the top of it?
I really don’t know where it came from. Now, I’ve never been skinny. At my smallest I think I weighed 155. Now I weigh 220. I also noticed a fat roll under my boobs! AH!
I’ve seen recent pictures of myself, and it honestly looks like there is 10 pounds on my face… I’ve never felt like that before. Usually, I can accept the fact that I am not a stick, and be done with it. But now that a wedding is in the mix, every little thing about me is hideous. My hair is horrible. My skin is horrible. I need a tan. I should have been going to the gym 6 months ago.
What is is about dress shopping that makes us start to notice every single flaw we may or may not have?
Ugh. I hope this goes away when I actually put on a dress…
Any of you ladies know what I mean?