Post # 1
so we have decided on a very intimate wedding. Imediate family and 3 close friends each. Due to this, I’m not sure who I am allowed to invite to pre wedding events. I was under the impression that usually you only invite people to pre wedding events if they’re invited to the wedding, but since it is so intimate does that rule still apply?
This isnt a gift grab thing, I’m just wondering for like the bachelorette party, can I invite my friends that aren’t included in the wedding due to The fact it’s so small? Or the engagement party? Both of which are not gift giving events so please no comments on how I’m a selfish cow and I just want their money/gifts. I want to celebrate with my friends, but we can’t have most of them at the actual wedding.
I guess I would just like some opinions from you guys since you’re always so helpful in the past on my posts or other posts I’ve read.
So what do the bees think?
Post # 2
Those who are invited to pre-wedding events are invited to the wedding.
We invited 50 people to our wedding. My shower had 15 ladies who were able to make it. It was lovely – high tea themed. We didn’t see the need for an engagement party. Bachelorette party was my Maid/Matron of Honor and my four best friends (all of which were invited to the wedding). We had a blast. I didn’t invite anyone to pre-wedding events that didn’t get an invite. I think it would be rude.
Post # 3
GypsieFlower: here’s what the expert has to say:
There is no gracious way to ask someone to help you get ready for something that they won’t participate in — it’s like pulling the rug out from under them.
Post # 4
librarygirl85: yeah that’s what I thought too, it’s just the last 2 or 3 weddings I’ve been to or heard of through a friend who went, people seem to be a lot more lenient with etiquette. I even went to a wedding where they had a different guest list for the ceremony and reception, though they made sure to have a small quick after ceremony snack to have a reason to put their honeymoon fund/gift table up for those who didn’t get invited to the reception. I think that was completEly rude and horrible of them, but it makes me think that if that is something people are doing now, is it really that bad for me to invite people to celebrate with me, not even gift giving events?
Post # 5
I’ve attended engagement parties, showers and bachelorette parties despite not being invited to the wedding. It really didn’t bother me, but I also didn’t give the couple a gift of money like I usually do at weddings. If someone else wants to host a party in your honor to celebrate a major life event and others want to celebrate with you, I don’t see an ettiquette issue at all. as long as everyone knows it’s an intimate wedding, you should be fine.
Post # 6
I think it would be okay considering your wedding is SO small. It’s not as though you did the pick-and-choose thing among all of your friends and acquaintances as to who was invited. In my experience, engagement parties have been held so soon after the engagement that it would have been impossible for the bride and groom to have created a concrete wedding guest list. Bachelorette party is really just a fun night out, so I don’t see a problem there either.