(Closed) Pre wedding events and intimate wedding, not sure what's okay and what's not?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Those who are invited to pre-wedding events are invited to the wedding. 

We invited 50 people to our wedding. My shower had 15 ladies who were able to make it. It was lovely – high tea themed. We didn’t see the need for an engagement party. Bachelorette party was my Maid/Matron of Honor and my four best friends (all of which were invited to the wedding). We had a blast. I didn’t invite anyone to pre-wedding events that didn’t get an invite. I think it would be rude. 

Post # 5
1626 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve attended engagement parties, showers and bachelorette parties despite not being invited to the wedding. It really didn’t bother me, but I also didn’t give the couple a gift of money like I usually do at weddings. If someone else wants to host a party in your honor to celebrate a major life event and others want to celebrate with you, I don’t see an ettiquette issue at all. as long as everyone knows it’s an intimate wedding, you should be fine. 

Post # 6
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think it would be okay considering your wedding is SO small. It’s not as though you did the pick-and-choose thing among all of your friends and acquaintances as to who was invited. In my experience, engagement parties have been held so soon after the engagement that it would have been impossible for the bride and groom to have created a concrete wedding guest list. Bachelorette party is really just a fun night out, so I don’t see a problem there either. 

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