(Closed) Pre wedding mental breakdown and weight gain

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Caddy84:  Just breathe. First of all, if you want to marry this man, you need to stop questioning his love for you. thats a  sure fire way to put doubts in someone’s head. I went through something simmilar about a month ago. Focus on the things you are looking forward to. You’ve got to try and let go of some of the anxiety. Make schedules and lists. if it makes you feel better, set aside some time just for wedding talk–say– once a week. other than that, focus on the things that make you excited about the wedding, instead of the freak-out parts.

Post # 4
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I can totally relate.  I have incredible anxiety issues, and they’re really taking a toll.  I’m not sleeping either (my problem is staying up late), I’m having nightmares…and I’m only a month and a half in.  Ugh.

About the weight issue, it really is a vicious cycle.  I went through it myself when I was unemployed.  When you’re stressed and anxious, your body creates hormones that causes you to retain weight.  And then when the scale doesn’t move, it’s added stress and anxiety.  Which causes you to retain/gain weight.  And so on.  Plus, not sleeping enough can cause you to hold on weight. 

It’s easier said than done, but you really have to relax.  Try working out in a way that brings you peace – yoga, hiking, playing sports with friends, whatever works best for you, even if it’s not as “hardcore” as what you were doing.  Also, maybe resolve to not give it any active time or attention for a period of time, like a week or even a day, and if you catch yourself thinking about it, divert your mind.  Also maybe see a counselor so you can get this stuff out of your mind and not always onto Fiance.  In any case, if you can, focus on the anxiety and put the weight stuff aside for now, and the weight will fall more naturally into place.

Also, if you can do anything naturally, that will be better, because my understanding is that many meds have a weight gain side effect.  Then again, that might still be better numbers-wise than continuing to stress.

Post # 5
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@2BeeMrsE:  +1

Do what you can to put your mind at ease.  The more you stress about weight, the harder it will be to lose.  Good sleep is also important.  

Hang in there! The end is in sight! Take a lot of deep breaths too. 🙂

Post # 6
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If your anxiety is bad enough that it’s interfering with your sleep and relationships, please seek professional help. You don’t have to just tough it out, and potentially damage your marriage long-term. 

Post # 7
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Caddy84:  Good idea re: getting some professional help. Not sure you need meds, but even talking to someone can be helpful.

It just sounds like you’re overwhelmed. You need to get some perspective, though. Imagine what you would tell a friend in your position. You’d probably tell her that it’s one day of her life. That her guests will think she’ll look beautiful no matter what. That her fiance wants to marry her even if some of the details are off. That the guests won’t notice if something goes wrong. It’s ONE day that will be over in a flash. It’s about marrying the guy she loves.

It is normal to have cold feet, anxiety, doubts etc. You’re about to make a huge commitment. Your Fiance would not be making this commitment if he didn’t love you.

As far as the financial worries go, obviously, I don’t know details, but I think those are worth having a talk over. Finances are hugely important in relationships. Can you not afford the wedding or is it just a big expense? If you are going into debt for the wedding, you need to have a plan in place, as a couple, to get it paid off as soon as possible.

Post # 8
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@geekspice:  +1.  This is not normsl wedding anxiety.  You need to seek professional help so you can enjoy the happiest day of your life.

Post # 10
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I take medicine for anxiety- I used to have those same types of episodes even before I was engaged! It definitely helps take the edge off and it has completely changed my life for the better!


Another coping mechanism I’ve figured out is to not look at wedding stuff before bed- I typically have bad dreams when I do 🙂

Good Luck!

Post # 11
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Hey love, please consider seeing a physciatrist who can give you counseling and perhaps a prescription. It can make SUCH a difference! You aren’t alone – my Fiance is going through a sever depression right now and it’s pretty awful 🙁 This WILL get better, just hang in there! 

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