Post # 1
I’m getting married in North Carolina, but have lived the last ten yars in NY, and am moving away this summer to take a job close to my fiancee.
My fiancee and I think that a lot of my NY friends won’t travel to our wedding but wanted to celebrate with them here. I’ve been reading that you can’t invite people to an engagement party and not invite them to the wedding, but we’ve been thinking of this event as our “NY wedding” and want to do a really nice party here because we think that people won’t travel, or won’t be able to. Is this rude? what do we do?
Post # 3
Maybe you could send those friends a wedding invitation anyway? Even if they won’t travel for it, at least they’ll be invited and then you won’t feel weird about inviting them to an engagement party.
Post # 4
One option: Have the party as you want, but then invite all attendees to the wedding too. Courtesy invites are a nice gesture even if you know they likely won’t travel. Risk here is that they could come and your wedding could be much bigger than you planned!
Another option: Just go for it — I think most people would understand if the scale of your wedding is smaller than the scale of your party. And you want to celebrate with your NY friends in NY! That makes sense! Just be a little careful about who you then invite to the wedding — draw a clear line where the invites to New Yorkers stop: just family or just people you’ve known for x time. And be careful with groups where you have to pick-and-choose your “best friends” from a mix (like large groups of co-workers or church friends — either invite all that you invited to the pre-party or none).