Post # 1
My FH and I are being married on his grandmother’s birthday, which happens to be on a Tuesday. Only a few family and friends will be there with us because the venus only holds 15 or so people. Immediately after, we’re having a very small, and short (we have the venue for 2 hours for ceremony and “reception” post-wedding cake cutting). So, we decided to throw a party for all our extended friends and family the Saturday before (A BBQ party with the groom’s cake, champagne, etc…basically a reception without the wedding). We will be sending out invites to these events separately.
First question – is this likely to be offensive for anyone?
Second question – How on earth do I word the invites to the pre-wedding reception?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
I dunno about offensive, but if your relatives/friends who aren’t invited to the ceremony are anything like mine and Mr. MJ’s, they might be a little confused about why they dont’ get to go to the ceremony. So be prepared for questions about that. You could even use the ol “Didn’t want to inconvenience anyone on a work night!” excuse.
(This is coming from a bee whose wedding was on a Wednesday afternoon.)
As far as wording…the key here is to be direct AND vague. You don’t want anyone to think you’re getting married on Saturday and expect a ceremony. But you also don’t want people to show up on Saturday thinking it’s just a pre-party for the super-fun Tuesday party they’re surely invited to! KnowwhatImean?
You want to say youre “celebrating your marriage” or that people are “invited to celebrate your upcoming nuptials at a party…” something like that. On ours, we also mentioned that we’d be married in a ‘private ceremony’ on xx date.
Here’s a link to mine… the difference being that our party was the Saturday after our weekday wedding.
Actually, you might be interested to poke through my recaps – your wedding plan sounds a lot like our wedding, right down to the intimate cake cutting, and the barbecue extended-family/friends reception. 🙂
Anyway I hope that helps! And I think it’s really sweet that you are getting married on your grandma’s bday.
Post # 4
I think it’s completely fine to seperate the wedding and reception, as long as your guests are clear about it. Also, it’s a little weird to me to have a “pre-party” versus an “after-party.” Why not celebrate the Saturday after so guest can congratulate you on your recent wedding?
Post # 5
Honestly, MrsAwesome09, the thought never occurred to me! How funny is that?! I think I like that after party better. It’s hysterical how a normally intelligent person can be rendered mentally useless with all this wedding stuff!
MaryJane, thank you for sharing your stuff! I LOVE the invitations to the party. =)
Post # 6
@caramatteucci: Haha, boy I know that feeling!
Post # 7
I don’t think you’ll have a problem having two separate events. Although, I’m not sure how to word it for a “pre” wedding celebration. My friend had a destination wedding and a few months afterwards we got these invitations for a post-wedding celebration. It was something like: “You’re invited to celebrate the wedding of Jane & John” “This is a post wedding reception” Or something. Anyway, if you talk to a stationer, they will probably know the best wording and etiquette.
Post # 8
Yes, I think some people would be offended (whether they SHOULD be is another issue) and I know this because we had our wedding separate from the reception and some people were offended.
People are less likely to be offended a) if your wedding is VERY exclusive and very cut-and-dry in terms of who’s invited–that means “family only” or “family and one bosom buddy only” and b) if your events are far apart. I think that the close proximity of your reception and your ceremony AND, moreover, the fact that you are having your party before the marriage are going to pose problems. For one, if you will not have been married yet, people might be a little confused as to what they’re really celebrating–and, despite your best intentions, the fact that they’ll be celebrating prior to the main event might push the focus onto gifts and suggest that you’re only doing it to receive gifts (in part because having it prior to the wedding makes it reminiscent of a shower, more than a reception). Plus, you also risk the probability of your wedding guests talking about details related to a ceremony that the party guests aren’t going to be invited to–for whatever reason, people seem more likely to be offended hearing about an event that will take place in the future than one that’s already passed.
My advice would be to move the celebration to the Saturday following the marriage. If you’re going on honeymoon or something, don’t worry about moving it to some weekend after you come back.
Either way–even if you can’t move it to the weekend following–the wording “a reception celebrating the upcoming marriage of” or something to that effect should make it clear. Also avoid the more formal “honor of your presence.”
Post # 9
Thanks, @JennyW1 – it didn’t take me long to realize the error of my ways once MrsAwesome09 directed me toward the Saturday after and all has been rectified. =D
We originally wanted it to the Saturday before to save our out-of-town people from having to stay a long while, but as it turns out, the new schedule works better for all of them.